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Rights and Duties of Women in Islam: Reasons why men chat with non-Mahram

Question 641: Sir Can I ask question I want answer in light of our deen. Wsalam My quesiton on behalf of my friend she is married her husband is addict to talk to other girls every time of chat she talk to him about this and he said it’s man’s nature and I am not ashamed and I vl do she is worried that now what she vl do so her husband don’t do this. Can you please let us know the Rights and Duties of Women in Islam and Reasons why men chat with non-Mahram?

Answer 641: According to all maraj, all kinds of relations with a non-Mahram including joking, expressing mutual love, talking with the intention of deriving pleasure, looking at the body of a girl (except her face and hands up to the wrists) and at her hair or looking at her face with pleasure are haram (forbidden). In fact, if it is feared that they might fall into a sin, it is forbidden for them to have any kinds of relationship with each other.[1] Read More

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Ahlul Kitab are ritually pure: Permanent Marriage with them

Question 081: Salaams dear Sheikh. Does any of the Maraji’ allow permanent marriage with a person from the People of the Book, what is their ruling on the purity/impurity of such persons?

Answer 081: Our maraja have different opinions regarding permanent marriage with People of the Book as follows:

Imam Khomeini: As an obligatory precaution, it is impermissible to get married to People of the Book. Of course, Imam Khumayni (rah) has said in this issue (the issue of permanent marriage with non-Muslim women who are of the People of the Book) that it is an obligatory precaution, which means those who follow him can refer to the verdict of another jurist who says such a marriage is permissible and follow him instead. Read More

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A Shia woman cannot marry a Sunni man?

Question 612: Salam, I am a sunni Muslim and married too, I am in love with one girl she is Ahle Tashi, can you tell me what is the process of doing Muta? Please keep in mind she doesn’t have father or any other Wali over here, she is alone living with her mother and sister. Please guide me.

Answer 612: Islam has introduced temporary and permanent marriage as the legitimate ways of fulfilling one’s needs and desires. Temporary marriage refers to the marriage of a man and woman who have no barriers for doing so.  It takes place with the consent of both sides of the contract and a specified dowry and timeframe. According to Islam, the validity of temporary marriage is contingent upon certain criteria being met, namely getting the father’s (and in the case of not having a father, the paternal grandfather’s) consent if the girl is a virgin.  If the girl isn’t a virgin and has lost her virginity through legitimate marriage, her father’s consent is no longer a condition, but if it has been lost as a result of shubhah intercourse (mistaken/confused/accidental intercourse) or illegitimate intercourse (adultery), it is a preferred precaution to get the father’s consent[1] (although it still isn’t mandatory).  Also, if a girl wants to get married (temporarily or permanently) and neither has a father nor a paternal grandfather, there will no longer be any need for permission from anyone else (regardless of whether she is a virgin or not).[2]

Nevertheless, the marriage of a virgin girl who hasn’t reached rushd (the stage in which one can distinguish between good and bad and can tell what is to his/her benefit) without the permission of her father is void.”[3]

Ayatollah Sistani (ha) says: If a woman is over thirty years of age, and still virgin, and she is not independent, it is obligatory on her to seek the permission of her guardian for marriage. Rather, even if she is independent, she must seek his consent, as a matter of compulsory precaution.[4]

As for the marriage of Shia men with Sunni women, there are different viewpoints on the issue in fiqh; the famous verdict being that it is permissible,[5] especially when there are chances of the guidance of the woman to Shiism and the Ahlul-Bayt’s school of thought.

The viewpoints of Shia scholars regarding the marriage of Shias with Sunnis are as follows:

Ayatollah Fazel Lankarani (ra): The marriage of a Muslim woman with a Non-Muslim man is batil (void), the marriage of a Shia woman with a Sunni man is makruh, the marriage of a Muslim man with a Non-Muslim woman is also void unless the marriage is a temporary one (mutah), and the marriage of a Shia man with a Sunni woman is okay.

Ayatollah Bahjat (ra): Temporary marriage with the People of the Book (Ahlul-Kitab) is correct and as an obligatory precaution it isn’t permissible to perform the marriage contract of a Shia girl or woman and Sunni man.

Ayatollah Sistani (ha): Getting married to the People of the Book isn’t permissible as an obligatory precaution.  On the other hand, it is okay to get married with Sunnis if there isn’t any fear of going astray and losing Shia beliefs as a result.

Ayatollah Makarem Shirazi (ha): It isn’t permissible for a Muslim to get married to a Non-Muslim, while it is okay for Shia men to get married to Sunni women, but taken into consideration that there are chances of going astray for Shia women getting married to Sunni men, such a marriage isn’t permissible.

Note: Marriage between Shias and some “Muslim” sects such as: The Ghulat, The Nasebis and The Khawarij, who falsely claim themselves Muslim, but in reality are Kafirs, isn’t permissible.

For further information in this regards, please refer to the following answer:

Index: Permanent or Temporary marriage of a married man without the permission of his wife, answer 565.

Index: Rules regarding temporary or permanent marriage with people of the book, answer 080.

Index: Premarital relation with non-Mahram is impermissible, answer 082.

Index: Looking at non-Mahram Body for Marriage, answer 611.

Index: A Shia Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man, answer 342.

Index: Essential Requirements of a Successful Marriage in Islam, answer 515.

Index: A Muslim Woman Cannot Marry a Non-Muslim Man, answer 576.

[1] Tawdihul-Masa’ele Maraje’, vol. 2, pg. 459, issue 2377.

[2] Tawdihul-Masa’ele Maraje’, vol. 2, pg. 387, issue 2376.

[3] Question 1483 (website: 1530).

[4] . The official website of Sayyid Sistani (ha), Q&A: Permanent Marriage.

[5] Naser Makarem Shirazi (kharej fiqh lessons on nikah [marriage], academic year 1381-1382 on his official website); Seyyid Sadiq Rohani, Fiqhul-Sadeq, vol. 21, pg. 469, from the software of this book from the institute of Al-Imam Al-Rohani.

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A Shia Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man

Question 342: A/S. Is it permissible for a shia divorced woman to marry a non-Muslim. If she married a Catholic and she will not be deterred to practice her shia faith, is it allowed? You think a Shia Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man?

Answer 342: In the Holy Quran Allah (SWT) says: “… And do not give (believing women) in marriage to idolaters until they believe And certainly a believing servant is better than an idolater, even though he should please you These (idolaters) invite to the Fire And Allah invites to the garden and to forgiveness by His will And makes clear His communications to men, that they may be mindful”.[1]

According to all maraja’ (ha), as for a Muslim woman, she is not allowed to marry a non-Muslim man at all. In this regards, there is no difference in permanent or temporary marriage, weather the man allows her practicing Shia faith or not.

If a Muslim woman has realized that her husband is non-Muslim their marriage contract is void and she must separate from him.[2]

Index: Essential Requirements of a Successful Marriage in Islam, answer 515.

Index:  Rules regarding temporary or permanent marriage with people of the book, answer 080.

Index: A Muslim Woman Cannot Marry a Non-Muslim Man, answer 576.

[1] . Surah Baqara, verse 221.

[2] . Tahrir al-Wasilah of Imam Khomeini, Vol. 2, Pg. 254;  Minhaju ‘s-Saliheen, vol. 2, Pgs. 263- 265; Ibid, Vol. 3, Pg. 67, Q 205; Tawzih al-Masael, Pg. 479, Q 2357; Ibid, 1381, Pg. 476, Q 2393; Istiftaat of Imam Khomeini, Vol. 3, Pg. 128, Q 131 & 132; In this regards, a question has been sent to the office of Grand maraja Ayatollahs Khameni, Sistani and Makarem Shirazi (ha).

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Fiqhi rights of a father to his children upon divorce

Question 202: In the case of an Islam divorce, does the father have fiqhi rights to the children upon divorce? Does the mother have rights to keep the children until she remarries and then the children go to the father? Please, provide references.

Answer 202: According to Islam, the expenditures of the children are the responsibility of their father, although who has custody may vary depending on their age and gender.

Imam Khomeini says: “The custody of the son until two years of age and the daughter till seven years of age is the right of the mother, and after that the mother no longer has any rights regarding their custody and the father can take the children from there on. Nevertheless, the expenditures of the children are the responsibility of the father from the beginning. Also, if the mother gets married to another person during the period that she has custody, she will lose her right and the father will take custody of the children from there on.”[1]

Of course, during this time period, both the mother and father have the right to see their children.

Ayatollah Bahjat (ra) says: “During the time when the father or mother has custody of the children, if the other (who doesn’t have custody) wishes to see the child in order to give him/her something, solve his/her problems or just be beside him/her for a while, the other has no right to prevent such a thing from happening.”[2]

According to Fazil Miqdad and Allama Hilli, it is said that Sheikh Sadouq (ra) believed that kids are in custody of the mother until she marries, but we couldn’t find any reliable sources in this regards.[3]

Those traditions in which say that kids are in custody of the mother are as follows:

  1. Imam Sadiq (as):[4]

“«قال: سئل ابوعبدالله(ع) عن الرجل یطلق امراته و بینهما ولد ایهما احق بالولد؟ قال المراة احق بالولد ما لم تتزوج.»”

The above mentioned hadith is somehow more reliable than the following!

  1. The Holy Prophet (PBUH):
  2. «الام احق بحضانة ابنها ما لم تتزوج.»[5]
  3. «ان امراة جاءت الی رسول الله(ص) فقالت: یا رسول الله(ص) ان ابنی هذا کان بطنی له وعاء و ثدیی له سقاء وحجری له حواء وان اباه طلقنی واراد ان ینتزعه منی فقال: انت احق به مالم تنکحی.»[6]

It should be noted that those traditions in which say that the kid are in custody of her mother until at the age of seven years of old are Sahih.

These Hadith have the same meaning. Imam Sadiq has asked: if a man has divorced his wife and they have a child, the child is in custody of the father or mother? Imam replied: the mother until she marries. The two and third hadith were narrated from the Holy Prophet (PBUH) as He was asked in this regards and He replied as the same as Imam Sadiq (as).

For further information in this regards, please refer to the following answer:

Index: Permissibility of getting Divorce when your partner has lied, answer 295.

Index: Essential Requirements of a Successful Marriage in Islam, answer 515.

[1] . The Istifia’at (religious Q&A) of Imam Khomeini, vol. 3, pg. 209; also see: Ajwibatul-Istifta’at of Ayatullah Khamenei in farsi, question 1504, pg. 339.

[2] . Tawdhihul-Masa’el (of Imam Khomeini), vol. 2, pg. 516, issue 1986.

[3] . “al-Tanqih al-Raye”, Vol. 3, pg. 271; “Mokhtalif al-Shia”, Vol. 2, pg. 577.

[4] . Wasael al-Shia, Vol. 15, Pg. 191.

[5] . Jawaher al-Kalam, Vol. 31, Pg. 289.

[6] . Al-Fiqh al-Islami wa Adelatohu, Vol. 15, Pg. 192, Hadith 6.

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Looking at non-Mahram Body for Marriage

Question 611: Salam. Is a person allowed to look at the hair of her fiance once before marriage? Need answer from ruling of Ayatollah Khamenei and ayatollah Sistani?

Answer 611: Generally, it is haraam for a man to look at the body or hair of the Non-Mahram women, regardless of whether it is with the intention of pleasure or not, and whether there is a fear of falling into sinful act or not. It is also haraam to look at the faces and the arms, up to the wrists, of such women with the intention of pleasure, or if there is fear of falling into sinful act, and the recommended precaution is that one should not look at their faces or arms even without such an intention. Similarly, it is haraam for a woman to look at the body of Non-Mahram man, except places which are customarily not covered, like, his face, hands, head, neck and feet. She can look at these parts of a man without the intention of deriving any pleasure, or if there is no fear of being entrapped in any sinful act.[1]

But, it is permissible for a man to look at a woman whom he intends to marry provided that: 1- it is not with the intention of pleasure, 2 – it is to find out about her beauty or her defects, 3 – there should not be any barrier or hurdle to the marriage, 4 – he considers it problem that the girl will not reject him[2], in which case he can look at a woman’s face, hands up to the wrists, hair and a part of her body (neck and upper part of the chest).[3]

It should be noted that grand Ayatollah Saafi believes that: as an obligatory precaution, he must suffice to looking at her face and hands up to the wrists.[4]

Sayyid Sistani (ha) says: It is permissible for a man to look at the attractive features of the woman he intends to marry. Similarly, it is permissible to talk to her before proposing. So, it is permissible to look at her face, hair, neck, hands and wrists, and legs and other parts of her body, provided that he does not so without sexuall gratification.[5]

For further information in this regards, please refer to the following answers:

Index: Essential Requirements of a Successful Marriage in Islam, answer 515.

Index: Premarital relation with non-Mahram is impermissible, answer 082.

Index: Chatting on the internet with non-Mahram, answer 350.

Index: Shaking Hands with non-Mahram Man or Woman, answer 603.

[1] . The official website of the office of Sayyid Sistani (ha), rules regarding Marriage » Looking at non-Mahram.

[2] – Khamenei, Sayyid Ali, Ajwebat al-Istiftaat, question 525; Sistani, Sayyid ali, Minhaj al-Salehin, vol.2, Nikah (Marriage), issue No. 28; Bahjat, Muhammad Taqi, Resalah Tawzih al-Masail, issue No.1944; Makarem Shirazi, Naser, Ta’liqat Alaa al-Urwat al-Wuthqa, Nikah (Marriage), issue No, 26; Fazel Lankarani, Muhammad, Ta’liqat Alaa al-Urwat al-Wuthqa, Nikah (Marriage), issue No. 26.

[3] -Makarem Shirazi, Naser, Ta’liqat Alaa al-Urwat al-Wuthqa, Nikah (Marriage), issue No, 26; Ali bin Abi Talib Religious School, Qom; Sistani, Sayyid Ali, Minhaj al-Saalehin, vol.2, Nikah, issue No. 28; Tabrizi, Jawad, Isteftaat, question 1580, p. 355, Sarwar Publications, Sitara Publications, 3rd edition, 1385 (2006); Bahjat, Muhammad Taqi, Resalah, Tawzih al-Masail, issue No. 1944, p. 386, Publications of the Office of the Supreme Leader, Amir Printing Press, 18th edition,Qom, 1378 (1999). Tawzih al-Masail (with annotation by Imam Khomeini) vol.2, p. 485, issue No. 2433; Imam Khomeini, Sayyid Rohullah, Tahrir al-Wasilah, vol.2, Nikah (marriage), issue No. 28, Payam Printing House, fifth edition, 1365 (1986).

[4] – Saafi, Lotfullah, Hidayat al-‘Ibad, vol.2, Nikah (Marriage), issue No. 28; Adopted from IQ.

[5] . The official website of the office of Sayyid Sistani (ha), rules concerning Marriage » General Rules.

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Mutah and Zina: Shia consider Temporary Marriage permissible

Question 201:  What is mutah and zinah??

Answer 201: Zina denotes copulation with other than one’s legal spouse (permanent or temporary), which the Quran labels as a grave sin, about which Allah has said: “Do not approach fornication. It is indeed obscene and an evil way.”,[1] Temporary marriage refers to a marriage in which a man and woman without any restrictions of getting married, willingly, along with mentioning a specific mahr (dowry) and time length for the marriage, perform a marriage contract. This type of marriage has no talaq (divorce) and the couples are separated when the marriage contract’s time ends. Read More

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Wife’s Illegal Relationship / Ways to understating each other

Question 054: What is the rule of a wife’s illegal relationship with non-Mahram? My wife had an illegal relationship and I caught her red-handed. I asked her about their relationship but she didn’t acknowledge any relationship. I explained to both of them what they were doing. She promised me that henceforth she would never talk to or have any relationship with him at all. She however, talked to another guy and the same thing happened. Why is she doing this? What is wrong with her?

Answer 054: There would be no problem to interact with others in ways that are necessary for communication in daily life if there is no such a fear that we might fall into a sin. Unnecessary and unconventional behavior such as, amorous conversations and physical relationships between non-Mahram man and woman is not allowed.[1]

This unlawful behavior could be the consequence of several root causes, some of which will be explored below. Some recommendations will also be given that will enable you to intervene and prevent her from continuing to commit such sins.

Abnormal behaviors in your wife could be the result of several factors caused by you, that are likely to include emotional distress, verbal abuse, or even sexual deficiencies that have arisen during the course of the marriage.

Women need validation, appreciation and positive attention from their husband in order to maintain healthy behaviors. Also, any unconventional matters in your conjugal life may have discouraged her to get married to you, but she may have consented to marry you because of a particular factor and condition. The last and most important reason could be ignorance of the negative and harmful consequences of her sin and her weakness in her faith in Allah (swt).

The recommended action would be to have a sit down with your wife and inquire in an intimate and friendly manner about these behaviors.

If it is your behaviors and actions which caused her to establish such communications with others, try to correct your behaviors and actions. If there are other factors which could have caused these behaviors in her, try to establish what these factors are and together work to find the best solution for each problem. In any case, make her aware of the negative and harmful consequences of such sins and remind her of the Day of Judgment. In this regards, Allah (swt) says: “O you who believe! turn to Allah a sincere turning; maybe your Lord will remove from you your evil and cause you to enter gardens beneath which rivers flow, on the day on which Allah will not abase the Prophet and those who believe with him”” Their light shall run on before them and on their right hands; they shall say: Our Lord! make perfect for us our light, and grant us protection” Surely Thou hast power over all things”[2]

For further information in this regards, please refer to the following answer:

Index:  Premarital relation with non-Mahram is impermissible, answer 082.

Index: Disclose Unlawful Relations to a Potential Wife!, answer 053.

Index: Essential Requirements of a Successful Marriage in Islam, answer 515.

[1] . For further information, please visit: The official website of the office of Sayyid Sistani (ha), Rules concerning Male and Female Relations.

[2] . Surah al-Tahrim, verse 8.

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Getting Married on Wednesday / Praised or Condemned Days

Question 077: Asalamu Alaikum. Is getting married on Wednesday allowed in Islam? I read something that said it is makrooh to have sex or approach wives on Wednesday. Is that an authenticated hadith? Please let me know, as soon as possible. Thank you.
Answer 077: There is a tradition narrated from Imam Ali (as) in which certain days of the week have been praised while other days have been condemned. These are: Saturday is the day of beguilement and deceit, Sunday is good day for constructing, planting and wedding, Monday is the day of travel and business, Tuesday is the day of war and bloodshed, Wednesday is a sinister day, Thursday is the day of visiting the ruler and getting needs fulfilled and Friday is a good day of proposal and marriage. [1] Read More

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Disclose Unlawful Relations to a Potential Wife!

Question 053: Should a man disclose unlawful relations to whom he wants to get married? Is he allowed to lie in order to get rid of evil if she asks about his past relations?

Answer 053: Islam, however introduce the trustfulness and honesty as the biggest capital in a couple’s life and says that where there is honesty in a family, there is no ground for any misunderstanding and misconception and if a husband and wife want to betray or deceive each other and tell each other lies, then there is no way they can trust each other, but one mustn’t disclose his sins (small or big) to anyone. He must keep his secrets (regarding his sins) to himself. From Islam’s perspective the self-respect a person has for himself is so significant that he can only confess his sins before Allah in the sense of asking for forgiveness.

Not only will he not lose his respect but by confessing before Allah he will gain more. This is something solely restricted to Allah , for no other person even if he were to be a trustworthy person, is capable of returning one’s respect (that has been lost when he confesses to that person), let alone increasing it.

On top of that, based on the tawhidi (monotheistic) viewpoint in Islam the sole cause for everything in this world is Allah [1] and no one can do anything without his permission especially granting forgiveness and pardon which has not been assigned to any individual or character in Islam other than Allah (swt) himself.

In this regards, Imam Javad (as) says: If you come to know about the secrets of each other no one of you would bury one another. This means that after knowing your friends’ secrets you would fed up with them in a way that never bury their bodies.[1]

In order to avoid discrediting others and spreading prostitution no one is allowed to disclose his/her unlawful relations with others, according to Islam. One must only confess his/her mistakes and sins before Allah (SWT) and truly ask for His forgiveness, then Allah (SWT) will forgive him/her. In the holy Quran Allah (SWT) says: “Say: O My servants! who have acted extravagantly against their own souls, do not despair of the mercy of Allah Surely Allah forgives the faults altogether Surely He is the Forgiving, the Merciful”.[2]

Note: Once someone said in front of Imam Ali (as), “Astaghfirullah” (I ask Allah’s forgiveness), then Imam Ali (as) said, “Your mother may lose you! Do you know what ‘istighfar’ (asking Allah’s forgiveness) is?”[3]

‘Astighfar’ is meant for people of a high position. It is a word that stands on six meanings:

  1. To repent over the past.
  2. To make a firm determination never to revert to it.
  3. To discharge all the rights of the people so that you may meet Allah quite clean with nothing to account for.
  4. To fulfill every obligatory act which you ignored (in the past) so that you may now do justice with it.
  5. To aim at the flesh grown as a result of unlawful earning, so that you may melt it by grief (of repentance) till the skin touches the bone and a new flesh grows between them.[4]
  6. To make the body taste the pain of obedience as you (previously) made it taste the sweetness of disobedience. On such occasion you may say: ‘astaghfirullah’.[5]

For further information in this regards, please refer to the following answer:

Index:  Premarital relation with non-Mahram is impermissible, answer 082.

[1] لا مؤثر فی الوجود الا الله

[1] . Sheikh Sadouq, Muhammad bin Ali, Amali, Pg. 446, Aalami Publication, Beirut, 1400 A.H.

[2] . Surah al-Zumar, verse 53.

[3] . Biharul Anwar, Vol. 93, Pg. 285.

[4] . Adopted from answer 139 (Index: How to Repent from Sins (high on drug) committed in the month of Ramadan).

[5] . “الجنة محفوفة بالمکاره و جهنم محفوفة باللذات و الشهوات” Wasa’ilul-Shia, vol. 15, pg. 309, section 42 (the section that speaks of refraining from haram desires and pleasures).