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A Shia woman cannot marry a Sunni man?

Question 612: Salam, I am a sunni Muslim and married too, I am in love with one girl she is Ahle Tashi, can you tell me what is the process of doing Muta? Please keep in mind she doesn’t have father or any other Wali over here, she is alone living with her mother and sister. Please guide me.

Answer 612: Islam has introduced temporary and permanent marriage as the legitimate ways of fulfilling one’s needs and desires. Temporary marriage refers to the marriage of a man and woman who have no barriers for doing so.  It takes place with the consent of both sides of the contract and a specified dowry and timeframe. According to Islam, the validity of temporary marriage is contingent upon certain criteria being met, namely getting the father’s (and in the case of not having a father, the paternal grandfather’s) consent if the girl is a virgin.  If the girl isn’t a virgin and has lost her virginity through legitimate marriage, her father’s consent is no longer a condition, but if it has been lost as a result of shubhah intercourse (mistaken/confused/accidental intercourse) or illegitimate intercourse (adultery), it is a preferred precaution to get the father’s consent[1] (although it still isn’t mandatory).  Also, if a girl wants to get married (temporarily or permanently) and neither has a father nor a paternal grandfather, there will no longer be any need for permission from anyone else (regardless of whether she is a virgin or not).[2]

Nevertheless, the marriage of a virgin girl who hasn’t reached rushd (the stage in which one can distinguish between good and bad and can tell what is to his/her benefit) without the permission of her father is void.”[3]

Ayatollah Sistani (ha) says: If a woman is over thirty years of age, and still virgin, and she is not independent, it is obligatory on her to seek the permission of her guardian for marriage. Rather, even if she is independent, she must seek his consent, as a matter of compulsory precaution.[4]

As for the marriage of Shia men with Sunni women, there are different viewpoints on the issue in fiqh; the famous verdict being that it is permissible,[5] especially when there are chances of the guidance of the woman to Shiism and the Ahlul-Bayt’s school of thought.

The viewpoints of Shia scholars regarding the marriage of Shias with Sunnis are as follows:

Ayatollah Fazel Lankarani (ra): The marriage of a Muslim woman with a Non-Muslim man is batil (void), the marriage of a Shia woman with a Sunni man is makruh, the marriage of a Muslim man with a Non-Muslim woman is also void unless the marriage is a temporary one (mutah), and the marriage of a Shia man with a Sunni woman is okay.

Ayatollah Bahjat (ra): Temporary marriage with the People of the Book (Ahlul-Kitab) is correct and as an obligatory precaution it isn’t permissible to perform the marriage contract of a Shia girl or woman and Sunni man.

Ayatollah Sistani (ha): Getting married to the People of the Book isn’t permissible as an obligatory precaution.  On the other hand, it is okay to get married with Sunnis if there isn’t any fear of going astray and losing Shia beliefs as a result.

Ayatollah Makarem Shirazi (ha): It isn’t permissible for a Muslim to get married to a Non-Muslim, while it is okay for Shia men to get married to Sunni women, but taken into consideration that there are chances of going astray for Shia women getting married to Sunni men, such a marriage isn’t permissible.

Note: Marriage between Shias and some “Muslim” sects such as: The Ghulat, The Nasebis and The Khawarij, who falsely claim themselves Muslim, but in reality are Kafirs, isn’t permissible.

For further information in this regards, please refer to the following answer:

Index: Permanent or Temporary marriage of a married man without the permission of his wife, answer 565.

Index: Rules regarding temporary or permanent marriage with people of the book, answer 080.

Index: Premarital relation with non-Mahram is impermissible, answer 082.

Index: Looking at non-Mahram Body for Marriage, answer 611.

Index: A Shia Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man, answer 342.

Index: Essential Requirements of a Successful Marriage in Islam, answer 515.

Index: A Muslim Woman Cannot Marry a Non-Muslim Man, answer 576.

[1] Tawdihul-Masa’ele Maraje’, vol. 2, pg. 459, issue 2377.

[2] Tawdihul-Masa’ele Maraje’, vol. 2, pg. 387, issue 2376.

[3] Question 1483 (website: 1530).

[4] . The official website of Sayyid Sistani (ha), Q&A: Permanent Marriage.

[5] Naser Makarem Shirazi (kharej fiqh lessons on nikah [marriage], academic year 1381-1382 on his official website); Seyyid Sadiq Rohani, Fiqhul-Sadeq, vol. 21, pg. 469, from the software of this book from the institute of Al-Imam Al-Rohani.

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A Shia Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man

Question 342: A/S. Is it permissible for a shia divorced woman to marry a non-Muslim. If she married a Catholic and she will not be deterred to practice her shia faith, is it allowed?

Answer 342: In the Holy Quran Allah (SWT) says: “… And do not give (believing women) in marriage to idolaters until they believe And certainly a believing servant is better than an idolater, even though he should please you These (idolaters) invite to the Fire And Allah invites to the garden and to forgiveness by His will And makes clear His communications to men, that they may be mindful”.[1]

According to all maraja’ (ha), as for a Muslim woman, she is not allowed to marry a non-Muslim man at all. In this regards, there is no difference in permanent or temporary marriage, weather the man allows her practicing Shia faith or not.

If a Muslim woman has realized that her husband is non-Muslim their marriage contract is void and she must separate from him.[2]

Index: Essential Requirements of a Successful Marriage in Islam, answer 515.

Index:  Rules regarding temporary or permanent marriage with people of the book, answer 080.

Index: A Muslim Woman Cannot Marry a Non-Muslim Man, answer 576.

[1] . Surah Baqara, verse 221.

[2] . Tahrir al-Wasilah of Imam Khomeini, Vol. 2, Pg. 254;  Minhaju ‘s-Saliheen, vol. 2, Pgs. 263- 265; Ibid, Vol. 3, Pg. 67, Q 205; Tawzih al-Masael, Pg. 479, Q 2357; Ibid, 1381, Pg. 476, Q 2393; Istiftaat of Imam Khomeini, Vol. 3, Pg. 128, Q 131 & 132; In this regards, a question has been sent to the office of Grand maraja Ayatollahs Khameni, Sistani and Makarem Shirazi (ha).

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Marriage of Imam Ali and Fatimah Zahra (pbuth) in Quran

Question 275: salam and jum’ah mubarak to all i have a question about imam ali and fatima zahra a.s. imam is a cousin of prophet muhammad s.a.w and he was also the uncle of fatima, right? so my question how prophet s.a.w agree to marry her daughter to imam ali? and what is a sign that allah agree to marry his daughter? and what hadith in sunni narrated about the aproval of allah s.w.t to marry imam ali and fatima?

Answer 275: Imam Ali (sa) was the cousin of the Holy Prophet (pbuh). His father was Abū Ṭālib ibn ‘Abd al-Muṭṭalib and His mother was Fatima bint Asad.

The Holy Prophet’s (pbuh) father was Abdu’llah ibn ‘Abdu’l-Muttalib and His mother was Āmina.

Fatima Zahra (sa) was the daughter of the Holy Prophet (pbuh). Her mother was Khadīja bint Khuwaylid (sa).

There has not directly mentioned in any verse of the Holy Quran an issue related to the marriage of Imam Ali (as) and Lady Fatimah Zahra (sa), however there are verses of the holy Quran that somehow related to this issue, as follows:

  1. Sura al-Kawthar: “Surely We have given you Kawthar. Therefore pray to your Lord and make a sacrifice.  Surely your enemy is the one who shall be without posterity.”

The Holy Prophet (pbuh) had two sons were born of the Lady Khadijah namely; Ghasem and Taher (also called ‘Abdullah) who died in Mecca and so, there was no live male issue from the holy Prophet (pbuh), so, the Arabs used to call the one who had no son (abtar). Hence after, the holy Quran applied this name to the enemies of the Prophet.

Note: The Messenger of Allah (S) had another son by the name of Ibraheem, was born of Mariyah Qibtiyyah in 8 AH. He also died before he was 2 years old.

Therefore, as the abundance of goodness and blessing the Kawthar has granted to the Holy Prophet by Allah, the Almighty. This verse refers to the marriage of Imam Ali (as) and Lady Fatimah Zahra (sa).

According to Sheikh Mufid, Imam Ali (as) has asked the Holy Prophet (pbuh) regarding the meaning of Kawthar? The Holy Prophet (pbuh) has said to him (as): “It is a stream that Allah (swt) granted to me, … the Holy Prophet then said to him: This stream is for me and you….”[1] Kawthar is Fatimah Zahra (sa).[2]

The Arabic version of this Hadith:

قال له علي بن أبي طالب (عليه السلام): «ما هو الكوثر يا رسول الله؟». قال: «نهر أكرمني الله به»… ثم ضرب رسول الله (صلى الله عليه و آله) يده على جنب أمير المؤمنين (عليه السلام) و قال: «يا علي، إن هذا النهر لي، و لك، …».

  1. Surah al-Rahman verses 19-22: “He has made the two seas to flow freely (so that) they meet together Between them is a barrier which they cannot pass. There come forth from them pearls, both large and small.”

Imam Sadiq (as) has said: the word “Marajal­baḥ­ray­ni  yal­taqiyān” refers to Imam Ali (as) and Fatimah Zahra (sa) and “Yakh­ruju  min­humallu­lu­u  wal­mar­jān” refer to Imam Hasan and Imam Hussain (pbuth).[3]

The Arabic version of this Hadith is as follows:

علي بن إبراهيم، قال: حدثنا محمد بن أبي عبد الله، قال: حدثنا سعد بن عبد الله، عن القاسم بن محمد، عن سليمان بن داود المنقري، عن يحيى بن سعيد القطان، قال: سمعت أبا عبد الله (عليه السلام) يقول في قول الله عز و جل: مَرَجَ الْبَحْرَيْنِ يَلْتَقِيانِ بَيْنَهُما بَرْزَخٌ لا يَبْغِيانِ قال: «علي و فاطمة (عليهما السلام)، [بحران عميقان لا يبغي أحدهما على صاحبه‏] يَخْرُجُ مِنْهُمَا اللُّؤْلُؤُ وَ الْمَرْجانُ، الحسن و الحسين (عليهما السلام)».

For further information in this regards, please refer to the following answer:

Index: The exact date on birth or Martyrdom of Lady Fatima and Infallibles, answer 254.

Index: Who were behind the Martyrdom of Lady Fatimah al-Zahra (sa), answer 486.

Index: Hijab of Sayeda Fatima al-Zahra (sa), answer 492.

Index: Birthplace of Ali ibn Abi Talib / He was born in Kaaba, answer 069.

[1] . Al-Burhan fee Tafsir al-Quran, Vol. 5, Pg. 772, H 11936.

[2] . Tafsir Nemooneh, Vol. 6, Pg. 599; Anwar Derakhshan, Vol. 18, Pg. 310.

[3] . Al-Burhan fee Tafsir al-Quran, Vol. 5, Pg. 233.

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Looking at non-Mahram Body for Marriage

Question 611: Salam. Is a person allowed to look at the hair of her fiance once before marriage? Need answer from ruling of Ayatollah Khamenei and ayatollah Sistani?

Answer 611: Generally, it is haraam for a man to look at the body or hair of the Non-Mahram women, regardless of whether it is with the intention of pleasure or not, and whether there is a fear of falling into sinful act or not. It is also haraam to look at the faces and the arms, up to the wrists, of such women with the intention of pleasure, or if there is fear of falling into sinful act, and the recommended precaution is that one should not look at their faces or arms even without such an intention. Similarly, it is haraam for a woman to look at the body of Non-Mahram man, except places which are customarily not covered, like, his face, hands, head, neck and feet. She can look at these parts of a man without the intention of deriving any pleasure, or if there is no fear of being entrapped in any sinful act.[1]

But, it is permissible for a man to look at a woman whom he intends to marry provided that: 1- it is not with the intention of pleasure, 2 – it is to find out about her beauty or her defects, 3 – there should not be any barrier or hurdle to the marriage, 4 – he considers it problem that the girl will not reject him[2], in which case he can look at a woman’s face, hands up to the wrists, hair and a part of her body (neck and upper part of the chest).[3]

It should be noted that grand Ayatollah Saafi believes that: as an obligatory precaution, he must suffice to looking at her face and hands up to the wrists.[4]

Sayyid Sistani (ha) says: It is permissible for a man to look at the attractive features of the woman he intends to marry. Similarly, it is permissible to talk to her before proposing. So, it is permissible to look at her face, hair, neck, hands and wrists, and legs and other parts of her body, provided that he does not so without sexuall gratification.[5]

For further information in this regards, please refer to the following answers:

Index: Essential Requirements of a Successful Marriage in Islam, answer 515.

Index: Premarital relation with non-Mahram is impermissible, answer 082.

Index: Chatting on the internet with non-Mahram, answer 350.

Index: Shaking Hands with non-Mahram Man or Woman, answer 603.

[1] . The official website of the office of Sayyid Sistani (ha), rules regarding Marriage » Looking at non-Mahram.

[2] – Khamenei, Sayyid Ali, Ajwebat al-Istiftaat, question 525; Sistani, Sayyid ali, Minhaj al-Salehin, vol.2, Nikah (Marriage), issue No. 28; Bahjat, Muhammad Taqi, Resalah Tawzih al-Masail, issue No.1944; Makarem Shirazi, Naser, Ta’liqat Alaa al-Urwat al-Wuthqa, Nikah (Marriage), issue No, 26; Fazel Lankarani, Muhammad, Ta’liqat Alaa al-Urwat al-Wuthqa, Nikah (Marriage), issue No. 26.

[3] -Makarem Shirazi, Naser, Ta’liqat Alaa al-Urwat al-Wuthqa, Nikah (Marriage), issue No, 26; Ali bin Abi Talib Religious School, Qom; Sistani, Sayyid Ali, Minhaj al-Saalehin, vol.2, Nikah, issue No. 28; Tabrizi, Jawad, Isteftaat, question 1580, p. 355, Sarwar Publications, Sitara Publications, 3rd edition, 1385 (2006); Bahjat, Muhammad Taqi, Resalah, Tawzih al-Masail, issue No. 1944, p. 386, Publications of the Office of the Supreme Leader, Amir Printing Press, 18th edition,Qom, 1378 (1999). Tawzih al-Masail (with annotation by Imam Khomeini) vol.2, p. 485, issue No. 2433; Imam Khomeini, Sayyid Rohullah, Tahrir al-Wasilah, vol.2, Nikah (marriage), issue No. 28, Payam Printing House, fifth edition, 1365 (1986).

[4] – Saafi, Lotfullah, Hidayat al-‘Ibad, vol.2, Nikah (Marriage), issue No. 28; Adopted from IQ.

[5] . The official website of the office of Sayyid Sistani (ha), rules concerning Marriage » General Rules.

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Mutah and Zina: Shia consider Temporary Marriage permissible

Question 201:  What is mutah and zinah??

Answer 201: Zina denotes copulation with other than one’s legal spouse (permanent or temporary), which the Quran labels as a grave sin, about which Allah has said: “Do not approach fornication. It is indeed obscene and an evil way.”,[1] Temporary marriage refers to a marriage in which a man and woman without any restrictions of getting married, willingly, along with mentioning a specific mahr (dowry) and time length for the marriage, perform a marriage contract. This type of marriage has no talaq (divorce) and the couples are separated when the marriage contract’s time ends.

The reasons for its permissibility: Verse 24 of surah Nisa’ and traditions narrated by the Sahabah (companions of the Prophet [pbuh]) from the Prophet (pbuh) all say that the permissibility of such a marriage was indeed legislated by him.

Doubts and questions on mut’ah:

  1. a) The whole purpose of legislating the permissibility of marriage is for the establishment of a family and the continuation of generations, while temporary marriage defeats this purpose because the only reason for such a marriage is sexual satisfaction.
    Answer: This question comes up because one mixes up the benefits of a specific ruling and its “subject” (In order to see what is meant by the subject of a ruling , pay attention to the following example: “Prayer is wajib” ; This ruling has a ruling and a subject; its ruling is wujub, or in other words, being mandatory. The subject of this ruling is the act that has been made mandatory, which in this case is prayer.). What was mentioned was one of the benefits of marriage, but its ruling doesn’t solely depend on that particular benefit, thus, getting married to a barren or ya’esah woman (one who has reached menopause), or a girl who is still a child is also acceptable (although the abovementioned benefit isn’t possible with them). Many young couples get married only for fulfilling reproductive desires in an Islamically legitimate way and don’t even think of bringing a child (although it might accidentally happen), yet their marriage is right and no one says that such intentions are problematic.

What is strange is that sexual desires are counted as its only benefit, while in many cases like in permanent marriage, one gets temporarily married for other reasons such as bringing a child, managing and taking care of the home, or nursing and growing children etc.

The question we have from those who oppose mut’ah is that if its purpose contradicts that of permanent marriage, then what do you have to say about couples who get married with the intention of getting divorced after two months? Is their marriage correct or not? Clearly, no faqih and alem (scholar) says such a marriage is incorrect unless he wants to say something completely illogical. So what is the difference between the two, other than one being timely and the other, permanent?

The author of al-Minar says: “The strictness of past and present ulema (scholars) and them prohibiting mut’ah, necessitates the prohibition of permanent marriage with the intention of getting separated by divorce afterwards. Yet, they say that if one has this intention at the time of marriage but doesn’t mention it when performing the contract as one of the contract’s conditions, the contract is correct (and the two become husband and wife, although if it is mentioned, it will surely make the contract void), nevertheless, hiding this intention is considered deceit, thus, such a contract deserves to be void (although it isn’t) more than a contract in which such intentions have been mentioned in (because when it isn’t mentioned, it is considered deceit).”[2]

We the Shia believe that if the couple themselves are content (in order for it not to become a form of deceit), and make a time limit one of the contract’s conditions, it is still correct and they are husband and wife.

  1. b) The permissibility of mut’ah contradicts the verse that says: “And those who guard their private parts; except from their spouses or their slave women, for then they are not blameworthy; but whoever seeks (anything) beyond that it is they who are transgressors.”[3] This verse is saying that anyone who goes after anything other than the mentioned instances has crossed Allah’s red line and entered the domain of haram acts. Mut’ah doesn’t cause any legitimate relationship between two people, so one who has intercourse with his mut’ah “wife” has committed a haram act.

Answer: This is merely a claim that has no backup. Such a woman is the man’s wife and has her own rulings. Just because her sustenance (nafaqah) isn’t the man’s responsibility and the fact that she doesn’t bear the qismah right (which says the different wives of one man equally share his sleeping with them, each “owning” the same number of nights), doesn’t make her not be his wife. The nashizah woman (one who doesn’t do tamkin) is considered one’s wife although she lacks the nafaqah and qismah rights, and the same goes with a girl who has become one’s wife while merely being a child.

It is completely wrong to say that since there is no ruling, there is no subject of the ruling. Sometimes the subject is there, but its ruling isn’t. Being husband and wife is a relationship between a couple that is followed by numerous rulings and decrees, if some of them cease to exist, it doesn’t mean that the relationship in its entirety doesn’t exist either. There are chances that some of these rulings exclusively belong to some types of marriage, not all of them.

  1. C) One who performs temporary marriage, isn’t after companionship and a life free of adultery and sin, on the contrary, his/her sole intention is adultery. And although there is a responsibility of the man taking care of his spouse and therefore somewhat causing an obstacle for him committing adultery, there is no obstacle for the woman to commit it and she is able to offer and present herself to other men anytime she desires, becoming one of the instances of the poem that speaks of a ball that is struck back and forth by polo-sticks.[4]

Answer: Who says that being protected only belongs to men? If this marriage is right, both men and women can protect themselves from adultery. Three things prevent young women from wrongdoing:

1- Permanent marriage

2- Temporary marriage with the conditions that were mentioned earlier

3- Controlling and dominating one’s sexual drive

The first choice isn’t a practical one for young girls and boys because of the low salaries that they receive from their families or the government or anywhere else. Taming the sexual drive is also impractical and almost impossible except for a few exceptional individuals. The only option that remains for youth in order not to fall into sin and corruption is temporary marriage.

Islam is Allah’s final religion and Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is His final messenger, his book being the final book and his decrees being the final ones. Such characteristics call for this religion to have a solution for every social problem that might occur in order to keep the respect and greatness of Muslims. Sexual problems aren’t an exception and Islam surely needs to provide a solution.

Imam Ali’s (as) voice can still be heard, warning mankind of the negative consequences of not taking this solution serious: “If it wasn’t for him (Umar banning mut’a) no one would ever commit adultery other than the shaqiyy (wretched).”[5]

For further information in this regards, please refer to the following answer:

Index: Permanent or Temporary marriage of a married man without the permission of his wife, answer 565.

Index: Essential Requirements of a Successful Marriage in Islam, answer 515.

Index:  Rules regarding temporary or permanent marriage with people of the book, answer 080.

Index:  Premarital relation with non-Mahram is impermissible, answer 082.

[1] . Israa’:32 “وَ لا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنى إِنَّهُ كانَ فاحِشَةً وَ ساءَ سَبِيلًا”. Regarding the impermissibility of adultery, see: Furqan:68 and 69; A’raaf:33; An’aam:151; Kulayni, Yaqub, translated by Mustafawi, Sayyid Jawad, Usul Kāfī, vol. 3, p. 391, Wafaa’ Press, 2004; Najafi, Muhammad Hasan, Hurr Amili, Wasa’il al-Shia, vol. 28, book of hudud; Jawaahir al-Kalaam, vol. 41, pp. 258 and 260, Daar Ihyaa’ al-Turaath al-Arabi, Lebanon, 1981.

[2] . Tafsir Al-Minar, v.3, pg. 17.

[3] . Surah Mu’minoon, verses 5-7.

[4] . Tafsir Al-Minar, Vol. 5, Pg. 13.

[5] . Mustadrakul-Wasa’el, v.14, pg. 478. ” فَلَوْلَاهُ مَا زَنَى إِلَّا شَقِيٌّ أَوْ شَقِيَّة”.

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Wife’s Illegal Relationship / Ways to understating each other

Question 054: What is the rule of a wife’s illegal relationship with non-Mahram? My wife had an illegal relationship and I caught her red-handed. I asked her about their relationship but she didn’t acknowledge any relationship. I explained to both of them what they were doing. She promised me that henceforth she would never talk to or have any relationship with him at all. She however, talked to another guy and the same thing happened. Why is she doing this? What is wrong with her?

Answer 054: There would be no problem to interact with others in ways that are necessary for communication in daily life if there is no such a fear that we might fall into a sin. Unnecessary and unconventional behavior such as, amorous conversations and physical relationships between non-Mahram man and woman is not allowed.[1]

This unlawful behavior could be the consequence of several root causes, some of which will be explored below. Some recommendations will also be given that will enable you to intervene and prevent her from continuing to commit such sins.

Abnormal behaviors in your wife could be the result of several factors caused by you, that are likely to include emotional distress, verbal abuse, or even sexual deficiencies that have arisen during the course of the marriage.

Women need validation, appreciation and positive attention from their husband in order to maintain healthy behaviors. Also, any unconventional matters in your conjugal life may have discouraged her to get married to you, but she may have consented to marry you because of a particular factor and condition. The last and most important reason could be ignorance of the negative and harmful consequences of her sin and her weakness in her faith in Allah (swt).

The recommended action would be to have a sit down with your wife and inquire in an intimate and friendly manner about these behaviors.

If it is your behaviors and actions which caused her to establish such communications with others, try to correct your behaviors and actions. If there are other factors which could have caused these behaviors in her, try to establish what these factors are and together work to find the best solution for each problem. In any case, make her aware of the negative and harmful consequences of such sins and remind her of the Day of Judgment. In this regards, Allah (swt) says: “O you who believe! turn to Allah a sincere turning; maybe your Lord will remove from you your evil and cause you to enter gardens beneath which rivers flow, on the day on which Allah will not abase the Prophet and those who believe with him”” Their light shall run on before them and on their right hands; they shall say: Our Lord! make perfect for us our light, and grant us protection” Surely Thou hast power over all things”[2]

For further information in this regards, please refer to the following answer:

Index:  Premarital relation with non-Mahram is impermissible, answer 082.

Index: Disclose Unlawful Relations to a Potential Wife!, answer 053.

Index: Essential Requirements of a Successful Marriage in Islam, answer 515.

[1] . For further information, please visit: The official website of the office of Sayyid Sistani (ha), Rules concerning Male and Female Relations.

[2] . Surah al-Tahrim, verse 8.

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The Wedding of Hazrat Qasim in Karbala on Ashura

Question 605: A’salamu Alaikum. I was wondering if you could shed some light on this matter. Is it true that Imam Hussain (as) recited the nikkah of hazrat Qasim (as) to one of His daughters on the day of ashura? I don’t know what to believe as i have only heard this  by people,i have never read this anywhere. Can someone send me a link or give me a quote from a reliable book? In our country it has become ritual and custom to have Mehdi and henna! What is the Shia point of view about the wedding of Hazrat Qasim bin al-Hasan in Karbala on the day of Ashura?

khuda hafiz

Answer 605: The event of ‘Ashura’ has been subject to tahrif (distortions) an instance of which is the concocted story of the wedding of Hadrat Qasim, a story which has not been mentioned in any reliable book of history not to mention the fact that such a thing is not rationally possible because, firstly, Qasim was not more than thirteen years old on the day of Ashura and he had not attained the age of puberty. Secondly, the wedding could not have taken place because Imam Hussein (as) and his companions were surrounded by their enemies and a pitched battle was going on. Moreover, Imam Hussein (as) attached great importance to fulfilling his divine duty against his cunning enemies such as the Banu Umayyads. Therefore, the story of the wedding of Qasim is a fabricated and unacceptable story according to Shia researchers.  Below we will mention the viewpoints of some those researchers:

  1. Hajji Mirza Husayn Nuri, the author of Mustadrak al-Wasail, writes in a famous work he has authored about the manners of the speakers or preachers who preach on the pulpits: “One of the derogatory and factitious reports which prominent scholars have not heeded or referred to is the story of Za’far the Jinn and the wedding of Qasim mentioned in a well-known book called Rawdat al-shuhada’ by Mulla Husayn Kashifi. The wedding story has not been mentioned in any books before Rawdat al-shuhada from the time Shaykh Mufid until this book had been published. How could an event so great and a story so tangible be not observed by scholars over this period of time?[1]
  2. The great narrator Shaykh Abbas Qummi has reiterated that the story of the wedding of Qasim in Karbala and the marriage of Fatima bint al-Hussein with him is not valid. In addition, Imam Hussein (as) had two daughters, one named Sakina (sa) and another Fatima (as). The first was married out to Abdullah who was martyred in Karbala and the second was married to Hasan Muthanna who was also present in Karbala.[2]
  3. Martyr Ayatollah Qazi Tabatabai considers the story of the wedding of Qasim as invalid. He quotes Allamah Mamqani as having said in his Tanqih al-Maqal: Other researchers and I could not find anything in historical and biographical sources to confirm the authenticity of what has been alleged inTurayhi’s book about the story of the marriage of Qasim. It is very unlikely that such an incident should have taken place on the day of Ashura keeping in view the difficult and extremely dangerous conditions and the calamities that followed. It seems that a mistake has taken place in regards to the wedding of Qasim who had not reached the age of puberty by then. It is indeed the story of the wedding of Hasan Muthanna (the Second) that has become known in such a way on the tongues of people.[3]
  4. Martyr Ayatollah Murteza Mutahhari says in this regard: “As you know, in the heat of the battle on the day of ‘Ashura’, the Imam offered his prayers hurriedly in the form of salat al-khawf[4] and there was no respite even to offer full prayers. In fact, two of the companions of the Imam came to stand in front of him to shield the Imam (against the arrows) so that he may offer two rak’ahs of the salat al-khawf. The two of them fell from the injuries inflicted under the shower of the arrows. The enemy would not even give respite for offering prayers. Nevertheless, they have concocted a story that the Imam called for a wedding ceremony on this day, declaring, ‘It is my wish to see one of my daughter wedded to Qasim.’ Obviously, one cannot take one’s wishes to one’s grave.  …. And this is said to have occurred at a time when there was hardly any respite even for offering prayers. They say that the Hadrat said, ‘I want to wed my daughter to my nephew here and now, even if it is just an appearance of a wedding.’ One of the things that was an inseparable part of our traditional ta’ziyahs was the wedding of Qasim, the boy bridegroom. Such an episode is not mentioned in any reliable book of history.”[5]

[1] Lu’lu’ wa Marjan, Mirza Hussein Nuri, p. 193.

[2] Muntaha al-Amal, Shaykh Abbas Qummi, vol.1, p. 70.

[3]  Research about the first Arba’ein of the Chief of Martyrs by Shahid Qazi.

[4]  The Shari’ah stipulates certain modifications in the obligatory salat, the daily ritual prayers, when offered in conditions of war and danger of the enemy’s attack. The salat thus offered is referred to as salat al-khawf; (see the Quran, 4:101).

[5] – Ashura: Misrepresentations and Distortions (Hamasa Hussaini), Murteza Mutahhari, vol.1, p. 27-28; See: Guli Zawareh, Ghulam Reza, Qasim bin Hasan (as), the Role Model for Adolescents, 209, May 1999; Adopted from answer 11430 IQ.

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Getting Married on Wednesday / Praised or Condemned Days

Question 077: Asalamu Alaikum. Is getting married on Wednesday allowed in Islam? I read something that said it is makrooh to have sex or approach wives on Wednesday. Is that an authenticated hadith? Please let me know, as soon as possible. Thank you.
Answer 077: There is a tradition narrated from Imam Ali (as) in which certain days of the week have been praised while other days have been condemned. These are: Saturday is the day of beguilement and deceit, Sunday is good day for constructing, planting and wedding, Monday is the day of travel and business, Tuesday is the day of war and bloodshed, Wednesday is a sinister day, Thursday is the day of visiting the ruler and getting needs fulfilled and Friday is a good day of proposal and marriage. [1]

The Hell has been created on Wednesday, according to the Imam (as).[2] People consider it as a bad omen.

Marriage is a recommended act in Islam, therefore, there is no problem in getting married on each day of a year. All days are good and there is no such thing as a bad day to get married, except when one intends to marry while in a state of Ihram (for Umrah or Hajj) or if a woman is still in the waiting period (iddah) after leaving a husband by divorce or when her husband has died.

It is noteworthy to mention that getting married on a special days are recommended, these are: First, forth, sixth, seventh, ninth, twelfth, seventeenth, twenty-third and thirtieth day of each Lunar Month.[3] If you want to get married during the days of martyrdom of the infallible Imams (pbuth), you should also consider, respect, and observe the rules of etiquette of these days completely.

It should be noted that reciting the marriage contract during the time when the moon is in Scorpio (Qamar dar Aqrab), is considered as a forbidden act, according to some traditions. However, you may still get married when the moon is in Scorpio.[4]

One of the things which is haram for the menstruating woman, is vaginal intercourse. This is haram both for the man and woman, even if only the glans enters and there is no seminal discharge. As a matter of fact, as an obligatory precaution, it is forbidden for even less than the entire glans to enter. As for anal intercourse, it is extremely makruh but not haram. Even on the days where the woman’s menstruation isn’t certain but she has to legally consider it to be so, intercourse is haram. Now if one commits this forbidden act of intercourse during menstruation, he/she will be liable to kaffarah (atonement) and has to act according to what has been mentioned in the risalahs (tawdih al-masa’il/books of legal verdicts) of the maraji’. [5] [6]

Note: There are many ahadith in which we are recommended to give Sadaqah (charity) or recite Ayatul Kursi in order to get rid of the evil omen, some of which are as follows:

Imam Sadiq (as) says: Whoever gives Sadaqah on every morning Allah (SWT) would ward off the bad omen on that day.[7] The Imam also says: If you want to travel on Wednesday give Sadaqah and recite Ayatul Kursi.[8]

These traditions are for getting rid of such bad omen. If you are able not to pay attention on such bad omen of some days of the week it would be much better for you to do so, but if you don’t have such ability, take refuge in Allah, the Almighty, recite the holy Quran and make dua.[9]

For further information in this regards, please refer to the following answer:

Index: Essential Requirements of a Successful Marriage in Islam, answer 515.

[1] . Sheikh Sadouq, al-Khisal, Vol. 2, Pg. 384, Office of Islamic Publication (daftar Intisharat Islami), first edition.

[2] . Ibid, Pgs. 387-388.

[3] . Al-Hurr al-Aamili, Muhammad bin Hasan, Wasā’il al-Shīʿa, Vol. 11, Pg. 399, Alul Bayt, Qom, 1409 AH.

[4] . Al-Shaykh al-Saduq, Man La Yahdhuruhul Faqih, Vol. 2, Pg. 276, Qom, office of Islamic Publication, second edition, 1404 AH; adopted from answer 71076; al-Kulayni, Muhammad bin Ya’qub, Kafi, Vol. 8, Pg. 275, Dar al-kotob al-Islamiyah, Tehran, 1404 AH; Adopted from answer 8340 IQ; For further information regarding these times, please refer to the astrological table.

[5] Sistani: And this ruling does not apply to anal intercourse…; Zanjani: Apparently, it isn’t permissible for less than the entire glans to enter…

[6] See: Tawdih al-Masa’il of the maraji’, vol. 1, issue 450, pp. 260-265.

[7] . Muhaddith Noori, Mustadrak al-Wasael, Aalul Bayt Li Ihya al-Turath Institution, Qom first edtion, 1408 A.H, Vol. 56, Pg. 31.

[8] . Ibid, Pg. 28.

[9] . Allamah Tabatabee, Tafsir al-Mizan, Vol. 19, Pg. 143.

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Disclose Unlawful Relations to a Potential Wife!

Question 053: Should a man disclose unlawful relations to whom he wants to get married? Is he allowed to lie in order to get rid of evil if she asks about his past relations?

Answer 053: Islam, however introduce the trustfulness and honesty as the biggest capital in a couple’s life and says that where there is honesty in a family, there is no ground for any misunderstanding and misconception and if a husband and wife want to betray or deceive each other and tell each other lies, then there is no way they can trust each other, but one mustn’t disclose his sins (small or big) to anyone. He must keep his secrets (regarding his sins) to himself. From Islam’s perspective the self-respect a person has for himself is so significant that he can only confess his sins before Allah in the sense of asking for forgiveness.

Not only will he not lose his respect but by confessing before Allah he will gain more. This is something solely restricted to Allah , for no other person even if he were to be a trustworthy person, is capable of returning one’s respect (that has been lost when he confesses to that person), let alone increasing it.

On top of that, based on the tawhidi (monotheistic) viewpoint in Islam the sole cause for everything in this world is Allah [1] and no one can do anything without his permission especially granting forgiveness and pardon which has not been assigned to any individual or character in Islam other than Allah (swt) himself.

In this regards, Imam Javad (as) says: If you come to know about the secrets of each other no one of you would bury one another. This means that after knowing your friends’ secrets you would fed up with them in a way that never bury their bodies.[1]

In order to avoid discrediting others and spreading prostitution no one is allowed to disclose his/her unlawful relations with others, according to Islam. One must only confess his/her mistakes and sins before Allah (SWT) and truly ask for His forgiveness, then Allah (SWT) will forgive him/her. In the holy Quran Allah (SWT) says: “Say: O My servants! who have acted extravagantly against their own souls, do not despair of the mercy of Allah Surely Allah forgives the faults altogether Surely He is the Forgiving, the Merciful”.[2]

Note: Once someone said in front of Imam Ali (as), “Astaghfirullah” (I ask Allah’s forgiveness), then Imam Ali (as) said, “Your mother may lose you! Do you know what ‘istighfar’ (asking Allah’s forgiveness) is?”[3]

‘Astighfar’ is meant for people of a high position. It is a word that stands on six meanings:

  1. To repent over the past.
  2. To make a firm determination never to revert to it.
  3. To discharge all the rights of the people so that you may meet Allah quite clean with nothing to account for.
  4. To fulfill every obligatory act which you ignored (in the past) so that you may now do justice with it.
  5. To aim at the flesh grown as a result of unlawful earning, so that you may melt it by grief (of repentance) till the skin touches the bone and a new flesh grows between them.[4]
  6. To make the body taste the pain of obedience as you (previously) made it taste the sweetness of disobedience. On such occasion you may say: ‘astaghfirullah’.[5]

For further information in this regards, please refer to the following answer:

Index:  Premarital relation with non-Mahram is impermissible, answer 082.

[1] لا مؤثر فی الوجود الا الله

[1] . Sheikh Sadouq, Muhammad bin Ali, Amali, Pg. 446, Aalami Publication, Beirut, 1400 A.H.

[2] . Surah al-Zumar, verse 53.

[3] . Biharul Anwar, Vol. 93, Pg. 285.

[4] . Adopted from answer 139 (Index: How to Repent from Sins (high on drug) committed in the month of Ramadan).

[5] . “الجنة محفوفة بالمکاره و جهنم محفوفة باللذات و الشهوات” Wasa’ilul-Shia, vol. 15, pg. 309, section 42 (the section that speaks of refraining from haram desires and pleasures).

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Beating Wife / Getting married without permission of parents

Question 602: Salaam! I’m a 20 years girl married to a Shia (I’m Sunni). When I married him I was married to a Christian (I’m a revert). There was not a sheikh, no witnesses and no Wali for me. My family doesn’t know about marriage. What is the ruling on getting married without permission of parents? This man started to beat me every day. Is this marriage valid?

Answer 602: According to the Shia point of view, the baligh virgin girl who can distinguish between what is to her benefit and what isn’t, must get her father’s or paternal grandfather’s (in the case of not having a father) permission if she wants to get married. In the case of her father or paternal grandfather not being present in a way that she can’t get their permission, and her having the need of getting married, their permission will no longer be a condition. [1] The same goes for the woman who isn’t a virgin; she doesn’t need to get permission either, if her virginity was lost to a previous husband. In the case of her virginity being lost by a mistaken intercourse, or even adultery, it is a mustahabb precaution to get permission if possible (which means it is better, although it still isn’t a condition and isn’t wajib).[2]

Therefore, if you have already got married and your virginity was lost to the previous husband, you don’t need to get your parents’ permission. And if you recited the marriage contract your marriage with him (Shia man) is valid.

Note: There is no problem for a Shia man to marry a Sunni woman, but if he fears to be misguided by her, it is not permissible for him to do so. [3]

The necessity of wife’s obedience to her husband is restricted to conjugal matters and the husband does not have the right to force her to do the washing up, cleaning, cooking and the likes.

The problems concerning household chores should be solved through understanding, sincerity, cooperation, sacrifice and selflessness of both husband and wife. Therefore, the husband even does not have the right to reprimand or rebuke his wife for not doing these jobs what to speak of bullying and beating her.

The man should know that he has not brought home a maidservant or a slave woman; rather he has brought home a partner, colleague, friend and helper, one whom he can expect to be available for sexual pleasures only.

Therefore, beating is not the act that Islam has allowed it without any condition. However, we don’t know the reason which is behind why your husband beats you every day!

So, try all your best to understand each other by providing a situation and condition in which both of you can discuss about your marriage and even the reason which is behind beating you.

It should be noted that according to the teachings of Islam and the tradition of great role models of our religion the atmosphere shadowing over a marital life at home must be full of intimacy and friendship as opposed to selfishness, self-centeredness and arrogance. If a wife and husband are friends with each other, most of the issues which pose themselves as predicaments will be easily resolved.

But, if you have already discussed with him about such issues and he wouldn’t like to leave his bad actions and there is no logical and canonical reasons behind them, try to convince him visit a professional psychologist or an Islamic scholar.

For further information in this regards, please refer to the following answer:

Index: Permissibility of getting Divorce when your partner has lied, answer 295.

Index: Essential Requirements of a Successful Marriage in Islam, answer 515.

 Index:  Rules regarding temporary or permanent marriage with people of the book, answer 080.

May your life be filled with health, joy, love and happiness!

[1]. Tawdihul-Masa’ele Maraje’, vol. 2, Pg. 387, issue 2376.

[2]. Ibid, vol. 2, Pgs. 458-459.

[3]. Ayatullah Vahid, Minhajul-Salehin, vol.3, issue 1298; Ayatullah Tabrizi, Minhajul-Salehin, vol.2, issue 1298; Ayatulah Nouri, Istifta’at, vol.1, question 668; Ayatullah Safi, Hidayatul-Ibad, vol.2, Al-Qawl fil Kufr; Imam Khomeini, Tahrirul-Wasilah, vol.2, Al-Qawl fil Kufr, Ayatullah Khamenei (istifta’), question 16 and 143; Ayatullah Makarem, Istifta’at, vol.1, question 708; Ayatullah Sistani, Minhajul-Salehin, vol.2, issue 215; The office of Ayatullah Fazel and Ayatullah Bahjat (narrated by Porseman).

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Take Husbands surname on Marriage

Question 545: What is the Islamic ruling on the wife changing her last name after marriage? Is it recommended or wajib to take Husbands surname on Marriage?

Answer 545: As for a family name is typically a part of a person’s personal name it follows the law or custom obtained in each country. It is passed or given to children from father’s family name or from both of their parents’ family names. The laws vary around the world.

Traditionally in some countries for the past few hundred years, it was the custom or law that a woman would on marriage use the surname of her husband and that children of a man would have the father’s surname. But, Islam has neither suggested us to change our last name after marriage nor mentioned any records in which a woman has ever taken her husband’s surname on marriage.

However, we can see in some countries that when a man from a lower-status family married an only daughter from a higher-status family, he would often adopt the wife’s family name.

In a few countries like the US, upon marriage, men can easily change their surname to that of their wife’s or a combination of their two names with the federal government, through the Social Security Administration, but may face difficulty on the state level in some states. In some places, civil rights lawsuits or constitutional amendments changed the law so that men could also easily change their married names (e.g., in British Columbia and California). Though other countries laws permits neither spouse to change surnames.

When we refer to the names of the Infallibles’ (pbuth) wives we see that they never changed their own families after marriage. They always get called by their own first or family names. E.g. Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, Fatima bint Muhammad, Ja’da bint al-Ash’at and etc.

In regards to calling a step-son, in the Holy Quran Allah (SWT) says: “Call them by the name of his Father; That is more just with Allah.”[1]

As a result, having an independent name can be considered as one of the symbols of Self Independence and autonomy which always follow the laws and custom obtained in each country. This is a personal issue that everyone is, according to the law and custom obtained in his/her country, allowed to do it. It is not something related to Fiqhi or other Islamic issue that Islam should have a rule about. Therefore, this is not recommended nor wajib. It is only considered as Mubah (i.e. is it ja’iz).

For further information in this regards, please refer to the following answer:

Index: Ahkam al-Khamsa / Wajib, Haram, Mustahab, Makru and Mubah, answer 341.

[1] . Surah Ahzab, verse 5.

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Permissibility of a Father giving Daughters Picture to Non-Mahram

Question 084: What’s the ruling about parents giving Daughters Picture to Non-Mahram (suitor) or his family, without asking the daughter for her opinion, if she agrees to marry the boy or not? If the matter is rejected, what would be the ruling of the pictures (of the girl with and without hijab)? What’s the ruling of exchanging pictures with the intention of marriage between families, not caring if the matter would be rejected or not?

Answer 084: There is a right for the father to intervene, like the right of getting married for a virgin girl and the like, then it is quite obvious that his order must be carried out.[1] So, there would be no problem for a father to give his daughter’s picture to a family (covered one) or a boy (with or without hijab) in this regards.

Note: If a girl comes of age, reaching the age of bulugh and obligation, and is rashidah (meaning that she can tell what is to her benefit and what isn’t), she needs to get her father or grandfather’s (in the case of not having a father) permission if she is a virgin. If she isn’t a virgin as a result of legitimate intercourse [with a permanent or temporary husband], there is no longer any need for her father or grandfather’s permission.[2]

The following are some important rules we are recommended to take them into consideration:

Giving One’s Picture to a Non-Mahram

  1. There is no objection to a boy seeing your picture, if he has a genuine intention to marry you. 2. It is haram for him to look at your picture with lust. 3. If you do not want him to keep your picture with him, he must return you the picture and he does not have the right to keep it. 4. If the picture has no hijab, they would commit sin by seeing your picture without your permission.

The grand maraja’ answer in this regards (giving veiled (with hijab) picture to a boy whom he decided to marry you) is as follows:

Khamenei: There is no problem in it per se.

Makarem Shirazi: There is no problem in it in the said case.

Saafi Gulpaigani: If the man intends to marry her, he can see your picture but try not to let the picture remain with a non-mahram.

Rules regarding Looking at a Woman’s Body for Marriage – It is permissible for a man to look at a woman whom he intends to marry provided that:

– It is not with the intention of pleasure.

– It is to find out about her beauty or her defects.

– There should not be any barrier or hurdle to the marriage.

– He considers it problem that the girl will not reject him[3], in which case he can look at a woman’s face, hands up to the wrists, hair and a part of her body (neck and upper part of the chest).[4]

It should be noted that Grand Ayatollah Saafi believes that, “As an obligatory precaution, he must suffice to looking at her face and hands up to the wrists”.[5]

For further information in this regards, please refer to the following answer:

Index:  Premarital relation with non-Mahram is impermissible, answer 082.

[1] . See: Wasa’ilul-Shia, vol. 14, pp. 11-120.

[2] . Tawdhihul-Masa’ele of Maraje’, Vol.2, Pg. 387, question 2376.

[3] . Khamenei, Sayyid Ali, Ajwebat al-Istefaat, question 525; Sistani, Sayyid ali, Minhaj al-Salehin, vol.2, Nikah (Marriage), issue No. 28; Bahjat, Muhammad Taqi, Resalah Tawzih al-Masail, issue No.1944; Makarem Shirazi, Naser, Ta’liqat Alaa al-Urwat al-Wuthqa, Nikah (Marriage), issue No, 26; Fazel Lankarani, Muhammad, Ta’liqat Alaa al-Urwat al-Wuthqa, Nikah (Marriage), issue No. 26.

[4] . Makarem Shirazi, Naser, Ta’liqat Alaa al-Urwat al-Wuthqa, Nikah (Marriage), issue No, 26; Ali bin Abi Talib Religious School, Qom; Sistani, Sayyid Ali, Minhaj al-Saalehin, vol.2, Nikah, issue No. 28; Tabrizi, Jawad, Isteftaat, question 1580, p. 355, Sarwar Publications, Sitara Publications, 3rd edition, 1385 (2006); Bahjat, Muhammad Taqi, Resalah, Tawzih al-Masail, issue No. 1944, p. 386, Publications of the Office of the Supreme Leader, Amir Printing Press, 18th edition,Qom, 1378 (1999). Tawzih al-Masail (with annotation by Imam Khomeini) vol.2, p. 485, issue No. 2433; Imam Khomeini, Sayyid Rohullah, Tahrir al-Wasilah, vol.2, Nikah (marriage), issue No. 28, Payam Printing House, fifth edition, 1365 (1986).

[5] . Saafi, Lotfullah, Hidayat al-‘Ibad, vol.2, Nikah (Marriage), issue No. 28. Adopted from answer        26645 IQ.

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Essential Requirements of a Successful Marriage in Islam

Question 515: Please say that it is a hadith is Islam that you should get you daughter married in a house financially stronger and wealthier than you is that true? What are the Essential Requirements for having a Successful Marriage in Islam?

Brief Answer 515: There is a hadith narrated from the Holy Prophet (PBUH) in which He has said: If one gets married to a woman for her property Allah would leave him to her property, if one gets married for her beauty he would see an unpleasant thing inside of his wife and if one gets married to a woman for her religion Allah, the Almighty would collect all of the values (such as property, beauty and etc.) for him.

Some of the important teachings concerning marriage which must be taken into consideration are: ethical and moral adherence of the boy and girl, honesty and truthfulness, genealogical originality and equality of the boy and girl in terms of their cultural, financial, family, scientific and religious status.

Detailed Answer 515: Marriage is one of the beauties of creation and a tradition of all nations and peoples of the world. Islam also attaches great importance to it; it has been looked at from different angles and aspects in a way such that it is considered to be irreplaceable with anything. The conducts and practice of the imams and noble servants of God who have the highest degree of knowledge about Islam well endorse the above. Imam Baqir (a.s.) narrated from the Holy Prophet of Islam as having said: “There has not been created any institution in Islam which is more favored and dearer to Allah than marriage.[1]

The Commander of Faithful, Imam Ali (a.s) said: “Engage in marriage; because this is the tradition of the Prophet of Allah (pbuh).”[2]

The Prophet of Islam and all of the Imams have laid so much emphasis on the institution of marriage that it has been considered to be equal to safeguarding half of one’s religion. The Prophet of Islam, peace be upon him and his family, stated: “Whoever gets married has safeguarded half of his religion.”[3] That is to say, marriage causes a believer’s personality to reach a stage where he safeguards half of his faith. Imam Sadiq (a.s) stated: “Two Rak’ats (units) of a married person’s Salat (prayer) are better than seventy Rak’ats offered by a bachelor.”[4]

All this emphasis implies the extra-ordinary importance attached by Islam to marriage and formation of family. It is a structure in which the first nucleus of a healthy and divine society comes into being. Islam not only attaches importance to marriage itself but also to the way it is formed and continued.[5]

Islam has presented highly valuable guidelines and models for us, and it has explained the characteristics and features of a good spouse and a healthy marriage as shall be enumerated below:

  1. Having real faith and adherence to Islamic moral codes: Such a person, being in communion with God, is reliable. On the other hand, a young man who is not abiding by such principles is not likely to remain faithful to his commitments. Imam Reza (a.s) said: “If a man seeks your hand for marriage and you are happy with his religiosity and moral characteristics, give consent for marriage with him. Do not reject him because of his poverty.”[6]
  1. Having good moral characteristics which cause the parties to the marriage to be happy and have a prosperous family life. It is said in the traditions that a bad spouse leads a person into pre-mature old age.
  2. Honesty and truthfulness: If a man gives promises while seeking a woman’s hand for marriage but he does not remain committed, there would be no trust in their lives.
  3. Genealogical originality: The Holy Prophet of Islam (pbuh) said: “Keep away from the grass that grows on dirt i.e. a beautiful woman in a bad family. The Holy Quran says: He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them. According to the verse, the women are a source of comfort and good for men.
  4. Avoiding heavy dowry: The Holy Prophet (pbuh) says: “The best women of my Ummat (nation) are those who are beautiful in face and less in dowry.”[7]
  5. Cultural, financial, family, scientific and religious equality of man and woman: If a girl is not of equal status to man especially culturally, it will lead to serious problems in the couple’s lives. One should try, as far as he can, to marry someone who is considered to be his/her equal. It is only a faithful Muslim who is the equal of another faithful Muslim. The Holy Prophet said: ““If one with whose religion and character you are pleased comes to you (to seek your daughter’s hand in marriage), then marry (your daughter) to him.”[8]

There is a hadith narrated from the Holy Prophet (PBUH) in which He has said: If one gets married to a woman for her property Allah would leave him to her property, if one gets married for her beauty he would see an unpleasant thing inside of his wife and if one gets married to a woman for her religion Allah, the Almighty would collect all of the values (such as property, beauty and etc.) for him. [9]

Conclusion: There is no authentic hadith saying that you are recommended to marry your daughter to one who is wealthier than you or your daughter, whereas the both man and woman who want to get married to each other are supposed to be equal in cultural, financial, family, scientific and religious affairs as well as considering the other important teachings concerning marriage. On the other hand, we can see the marriage of Imam Ali (as) and Lady Fatimah Zahra (sa), the Holy Prophet (PBUH) and Lady Khadijah (sa) and the other Imams (pbuth) in order to make sure how they got married!

[1] – Ameli, Shaykh Hurr, Wasail al-Shi’ah,  vol.20, pg.13, Aalulbayt (a.s.) Publications.

[2] – Ibid, pg.15.

[3] – Ibid, pg.17.

[4] – Wasail al-Shia, vol.20, pg.20. رَكْعَتَانِ يُصَلِّيهِمَا الْمُتَزَوِّجُ أَفْضَلُ مِنْ سَبْعِينَ رَكْعَةً يُصَلِّيهَا غَيْرُ مُتَزَوِّجٍ

[5] – Question 2478 (site:2619), index: Abandoning Marriage

[6] – Rayshahri, Muhammad, Mizanul Hikmah, vo.4, pg.280, Darul Hadith Publication.

[7] – Question 1300 (site: 1283), Index: The Philosophy of Marriage in Islam

[8] – Nahjul Fasahah, pg. 37, hadith No.193.

[9] . Man La Yahdhuruhul Faqih, Vol. 3, Pg. 251; Wasael al-Shia, Vol. 20, Pg. 51, H 25008.

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A Muslim Woman Cannot Marry a Non-Muslim Man

Question 576: Can a Muslim woman marry a Non-Muslim (christian or Jewish) man (interfaith marriage)?

It’s mentioned in Surah Al-Mumtahanah verse 10 “O you who have believed, when the believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them. Allah is most knowing as to their faith. And if you know them to be believers, then do not return them to the disbelievers; they are not lawful [wives] for them, nor are they lawful [husbands] for them. But give the disbelievers what they have spent. And there is no blame upon you if you marry them when you have given them their due compensation. And hold not to marriage bonds with disbelieving women, but ask for what you have spent and let them ask for what they have spent. That is the judgement of Allah; He judges between you. And Allah is Knowing and Wise.”

In this verse, it shows the marriage of muslim women to the disbelievers (Kuffar) is suspended, in which disbelievers doesn’t include the people of the book (Ahel Al Ketab, Christians and Jewish), because many verses in Quran called Christian and Jewish as Ahel Al ketab but not Kuffar (disbelievers).

Note: The maraja showing different opinions in case if a Muslim man marrying a woman from the People of the Book, are these opinions applied on Muslim women who want to marry a man from the People of the Book?

Answer 576: According to the following verses of the Holy Quran, traditions and fatwas of our maraja, a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man.

Verses of the Holy Quran:

  1. As for the unbelievers the holy Quran reject any ways for them to triumph over the believers. “… and Allah will never provide the faithless any way [to prevail] over the faithful.” [1] When it comes to the submission, a woman is supposed to submit unto her husband. If a Muslim woman marry a man from Ahli Kitab the man can influence the wife in the long run. In this regards Imam Sadiq (as) says: A woman is under the influence of her husband. [2] This might be a reason to change her religion.
  2. In other verse of the Holy Quran Allah (SWT) says: “O you who believe! when believing women come to you flying, then examine them Allah knows best their faith Then if you find them to be believing women, do not send them back to the unbelievers Neither are these) women (lawful for them, nor are those) men (lawful for them And give them) former husbands (what they have spent And no blame attaches to you in marrying them when you give them their dowries And hold not to the ties of marriage of unbelieving women and ask for what you have spent, and let them ask for what they have spent That is Allah’s judgment He judges between you And Allah is Knowing, Wise”.[3] In this regards, a man asked Imam Sadiq (as) that my wife has a sister who lives in Basrah city where many people are of religion other than Islam, in this case are we allowed to marry her to one of them? The Imam (as) forbade him according to verse of the holy Quran.[4]
  3. There is another verse of the holy Quran in which Allah, the Almighty says: “… And do not give (believing women) in marriage to idolaters until they believe And certainly a believing servant is better than an idolater, even though he should please you. These (idolaters) invite to the Fire And Allah invites to the garden and to forgiveness by His will And makes clear His communications to men, that they may be mindful”[5]

Traditions:

The followings are some highly valuable guidelines and models presented by the Infallibles (pbuth) for us to have a good spouse and a healthy marriage:

  1. Having real faith and adherence to Islamic moral codes: Imam Reza (a.s) said: “If a man seeks your hand for marriage and you are happy with his religiosity and moral characteristics, give consent for marriage with him. Do not reject him because of his poverty.”[6]
  2. Cultural, financial, family, scientific and religious equality of man and woman: The Holy Prophet said: ““If one with whose religion and character you are pleased comes to you (to seek your daughter’s hand in marriage), then marry (your daughter) to him.”[7]
  3. Being carefree and inattentive to prayers and hijab and drinking wine mean that the boy is not the equal of a practicing and faithful Muslim girl. The Holy Prophet (pbuh) says: “If a drinker makes a request for marriage, do not accept him.”[8]

Imam Baqir (as) was asked if we are allowed to marry Ahle Kitab, He said: You are not allowed to do so. The man asked again, what is the reason behind this prohibition? The Imam (as) replied: According to this following verse of the holy Quran: “And hold not to the ties of marriage of unbelieving”. [9]

Fatwa:

Imam Khomeini: A Muslim woman cannot marry a Kafir whether permanently or temporarily[10]

Sistani: As for a Muslim woman, she is not allowed to marry a non-Muslim man at all.[11]

Fadhil, Safi, Makarem: A Muslim woman cannot marry a man from Ahle Kitab.[12]

If a non-Muslim woman, who got married to a non-Muslim man, converts to Islam:

Khamenei: She must separate from him and there is no need for the divorce contract.

Sistani: There is no need for the divorce contract and she must separate from him as soon as she embraces Islam.

Makarim: In the case asked about, if her husband does not embrace Islam, she will separate from him.

Saafi: [The woman] needs to finish the waiting period; if her husband embraces Islam by then, the marriage will hold, but if he doesn’t, then the wife separates from him without the divorce contract and the marriage is terminated.

For further information in this regards, please refer to the following answer:

Index:  Rules regarding temporary or permanent marriage with people of the book, answer 080.

[1] . Surah al-Nisa, verse 141.

[2] . Al-Kafi, Vol. 5, Pg. 348.

[3] . Surah al-Mumtahinah, verse 10.

[4] . Sheikh Hurr Ameli, Wasael al-Shia, Vol. 14, Pg. 424, chapter 10, Abwab ma Yohramo Bil Kufr, H. 4.

[5] . Surah al-Baqarah, verse 221.

[6] – Rayshahri, Muhammad, Mizanul Hikmah, vo.4, pg.280, Darul Hadith Publication.

[7] – Nahjul Fasahah, pg. 37, hadith No.193.

[8] – Hurr Ameli, Muhammad bin Hasan, Wasail al-Shi’ah, vol.20, pg.79, Aalulbayt Publications.

[9] . Wasael al-Shia, Vol. 20, Pg. 534, H. 4, # 26275.

[10] . Tahril al-Wasilah of Imam Khomeini, Vol. 2, Kitab al-Nikah, Pgs. 254-258.

[11] . The official website of the office of Sayyid Sistani, Marriage » Questions and Answers.

[12] . Tawzih al-Masael (annotated by Imam Khomeini), Vol. 2, Pg. 468. The official website of the office of Ayatollah Makarem.

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Premarital relation with non-Mahram is impermissible

Question 082: I am in love with my teacher’s daughter and she also loves me very much. We have met each other a few times and message each other daily. Is there any problem and restrictions in our relation according to the Islamic laws?

Answer 082: Islam has prescribed marriage (temporary and permanent) to address this need, in addition to any sexual need, be it flirting, touching, caressing, and so forth, must only take place after marriage has been contracted. Even if boy and girl who are fiances and are planning on getting married in the future, but haven’t contracted any form of marriage yet, cannot take such pleasures in each other, even if it is only limited to having an intimate conversation or shaking hands.

As was said, in Islam, fulfillment of such needs must be within Islamic limits. Temporary marriage is one solution, but has stipulations and conditions that must be met, one of those being the consent of the virgin girl’s father (the rest of the conditions can be looked up in the risalahs).

According to the Shia point of view, the baligh virgin girl must get her fathers or paternal grandfathers (in the case of not having a father) permission if she wants to get married. In the case of her father or paternal grandfather not being present in a way that she can’t get their permission, and her having the need of getting married, their permission will no longer be a condition, if she can distinguish between what is to her benefit and what isn’t.

The same goes for the woman who isn’t a virgin; she doesn’t need to get permission either, if her virginity was lost to a previous husband. In the case of her virginity being lost by a mistaken intercourse, or even adultery, it is a mustahabb precaution to get permission if possible (which means it is better, although it still isn’t a condition and isn’t wajib).[1]

According to Sayyid Sistani (ha), it is not permissible for a boy and a girl to make friendship with each other in order to know each other before marriage. His Excellency also said: pre-marital relation permissible between a boy and a girl is not permissible under any circumstances. [2]

For further information in this regards, please refer to the following answer:

Index: Permanent or Temporary marriage of a married man without the permission of his wife, answer 565.

The official website of the office of Sayyid Sistani (ha), Question & Answer » Marriage. Ibid, Marriage » General Rules.

[1] . Tawdih al-Masa’il of the maraji’, vol. 2, Pgs. 449-460, 701-707 and 734-736 and 458-459.

[2] . The official website of the office of Sayyid Saistani, Question & Answer » Pre-marital Relation.

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Rules regarding temporary or permanent marriage with people of the book

Question 080: Salaams dear Shaykh. What is the ruling of the Maraji’ regarding temporary or permanent marriage with people of the book?

Answer 080: Our maraja have different opinions regarding permanent marriage with People of the Book as follows:

Imam Khomeini: As an obligatory precaution, it is impermissible to get married to People of the Book. Of course, Imam Khumayni (rah) has said in this issue (the issue of permanent marriage with non-Muslim women who are of the People of the Book) that it is an obligatory precaution, which means those who follow him can refer to the verdict of another jurist who says such a marriage is permissible and follow him instead.

Ayatollahs Golpaygani and Safi: The permissibility of marriage with People of the Book isn’t devoid of strength [this is a jurisprudential term meaning that it is permissible], but in the case of one being able to marry a Muslim woman, it is greatly makruh (abominable), as a matter of fact, in such a case, precaution should be observed.

Ayatollahs Khoei and Tabrizi: As a recommended precaution one shouldn’t permanently get married to them and some sects such as the Khawarij, Ghulat and Nawasib who consider themselves Muslims have the same ruling as kafirs and can’t be married to by Muslim women and men, neither permanently nor temporarily.

Ayatollah Noori Hamedani: Marrying them permanently is permissible according to the stronger fatwa, but precaution should be observed in not getting married to them permanently in the case of them being able to get married to a Muslim woman.

Ayatullah Zanjani: The Muslim man cannot get married to the Magi or a non-Muslim who is not of the People of the Book, neither permanently nor temporarily, and apparently, permanent or temporary marriage with Jewish or Christian women isn’t void, but it is makruh and against recommended precaution, especially if the marriage is permanent.[1]

Ayatollah Fazel Lankarani: The Muslim man cannot be permanently married to kafir women, even if they are Jewish or Christian as an obligatory precaution, nevertheless temporary marriage is permissible with Jewish and Christian women.

Ayatollah Makarem Shirazi: The Muslim man cannot get permanently married to kafir women as an obligatory precaution, but temporary marriage with People of the Book such as Christians and Jews is permissible.

Ayatollah Bahjat: The Muslim man cannot get married to other than People of the Book and Magi [from the kafirs], neither permanently, nor temporarily, and apparently, temporary marriage with Jewish and Christian women, both temporary and permanent, isn’t void although it is makruh and against recommended precaution, especially in permanent marriage.

Ayatollah Sistani: The Muslim man cannot get married to kafir women who aren’t of the People of the Book, but temporary marriage with Jewish and Christian women is permissible, and according to obligatory precaution, permanent marriage with them isn’t.[2]

He also says: For a Muslim man to marry a woman from Ahlul Kitab permanently is against the compulsory precaution in any circumstance. And his temporary marriage to a Jewish or a Christian woman is allowed, only if he is not already married to a Muslim wife. If he has a Muslim wife, temporary marriage with an Ahlul Kitab woman is not permissible without her consent; nay, even with her consent, it is not permissible, based on compulsory precaution.[3]

[1] . Tawdih al-Masa’il of the maraji’ (annotated), vol. 3, p. 468.

[2] . Tawzih al-Masael of the maraja’ (annotated by Imam Khomeini), vol. 2, pg. 468; Ibid, pg. 469; Hakim, Muhammad Saeed, Minhajul-Salehin, vol. 3, pg. 33.

[3] . The official website of the office of Sayyid Sistani (ha), rules concerning Marriage, q&a.