Question 051: According to the hadith in the attached meme, from how I understand it, a person was killed and the Prophet Muhammad (saws) saw women doing matam due to the person being killed and he said for them to stop doing matam and only ghum and crying are accepted. So, is matam really allowed?
Rough translation of the attached meme, “One time the Prophet (saws) was passing from near Sham and saw women doing matam on a killed person. The Prophet (saws) called the owner of that qabila and asked him, why have you not told them that they cant do this; only weep and ghum a lot. Go and tell them to stop.”
Answer 051: There are many traditions narrated from our Infallibles (pbuth) in which we are allowed to do matam. Like what has been mentioned in Dua Abu Hamza Thumali.
Given the supposition made in your questions, this Hadith is narrated from Imam Ali (A.S) not the Holy Prophet (PBUH). The following is the hadith I have translated it:
The tribe of Hamdan was one of the three tribes having the largest number of combatants in the army of Hadrat Ali (as). In one of the encounters in Siffin, members of this tribe, being on the right flank, had shown their unique firmness especially eight hundred from among their youth who remained steadfast till their last breath. One hundred and eighty of them were martyred and wounded; eleven among those who attained martyrdom were commanders.
When the Imam (as) was passing from Hamdan, He asked why they are mourning? Nasr replied: they are mourning for those of their family killed in Siffin Battle. Imam (as) has said, “I witness (and guarantee) that every one of them who were killed, were very patient and his Shahada (martyrdom) is accepted”. Then. Imam Ali (as) was passing from Sham (Syria) and heard some women mourning loudly. Harb Bin Syurahbil approached Imam Ali (as). The Imam has said to him: “Do your wives overcome to you? You cannot prevent them from mourning? Harb replied, “O Amir al-Momenin, if it was one, two or three persons we could do so, but one hundred and eighty of this tribe were martyred.” Imam Ali (as) said to him, “May Allah bless your martyrs.”
The Arabic version of this hadith is as follows:
نصر عن عمر قال حدثني عبد الله بن عاصم الفائشي قال لما مر علي بالثوريين يعني ثور همدان سمع البكاء فقال ما هذه الأصوات قيل هذا البكاء على من قتل بصفين فقال أما إني أشهد لمن قتل منهم صابرا محتسبا بالشهادة ثم مر بالفائشيين فسمع الأصوات فقال مثل ذلك ثم مر بالشباميين فسمع رنة شديدة و صوتا مرتفعا عاليا فخرج إليه حرب بن شرحبيل الشبامي فقال علي أ يغلبكم نساؤكم أ لا تنهونهن عن هذا الصياح و الرنين قال يا أمير المؤمنين لو كانت دارا أو دارين أو ثلاثا قدرنا على ذلك و لكن من هذا الحي ثمانون و مائة قتيل فليس من دار إلا و فيها بكاء
The following verses of the Holy Qur’an tell us there is no problem to do matam for those who have passed away or have been killed.
In the Holy Qur’an Allah (SWT) says: And he turned away from them, and said, “Alas! My grief is great for Yusuf!” And his eyes turned white due to weeping [and he kept his anger within Himself.” They said, “By Allah! You will go on remembering Joseph until you wreck your health or perish.” He said, “I complain of my anguish and grief only to Allah. I know from Allah what you do not know.” Thus, according to the Holy Qur’an, there is no problem to do matam.
For further information regarding other traditions in which such mourning is considered as makruh, please refer to:
– Mustadrak al-Wasael wa Mustanbit al-Masael Vol. 2, Chapter Mourning, Pgs. 456-457 & ….
– Index: Mourning for Imam Hussain (as) while you are grieving, answer 047.
 . Mafatih al-Jinan, Dua Abu Hamza Thumali.
 . Biharul Anwar, Vol. 79, Pg, 89, Chapter 16.
 . Surah Yousef, verses 84-85 &86.