Father’s permission for marriage: Brother’s consent is not required

Question 076: I am 48 years old. I love a girl 44 years of age. We want to get married by nikah. The girls father has passed away. She has two brothers who will not allow her get married because she is the hard worker of their family business. She has to do all the work whereas the elder brothers do not contribute. We really want to be together through nikah, as we are deeply in love. Please, tell me what to do? So, please tell me about Father’s permission for marriage and Brother’s consent if it is required?

Answer 076: According to maraja, a rashidah virgin girl whose father passed away doesn’t need others’ permission to get married. [1] Read More


Rights and Duties of Women in Islam: Reasons why men chat with non-Mahram

Question 641: Sir Can I ask question I want answer in light of our deen. Wsalam My quesiton on behalf of my friend she is married her husband is addict to talk to other girls every time of chat she talk to him about this and he said it’s man’s nature and I am not ashamed and I vl do she is worried that now what she vl do so her husband don’t do this. Can you please let us know the Rights and Duties of Women in Islam and Reasons why men chat with non-Mahram?

Answer 641: According to all maraj, all kinds of relations with a non-Mahram including joking, expressing mutual love, talking with the intention of deriving pleasure, looking at the body of a girl (except her face and hands up to the wrists) and at her hair or looking at her face with pleasure are haram (forbidden). In fact, if it is feared that they might fall into a sin, it is forbidden for them to have any kinds of relationship with each other.[1] Read More


Punishment for not Praying

Question 266: Salam. Is there any such rulings that prescribe a penalty of imprisonment for the one who doesn’t pray? What is the Punishment for not Praying?

Answer 266: There are two different types of rights: The rights of Allah (Haqqullah) and the rights of people (Haqqunnas). Prayer is one of the rights of Allah (SWT). If one doesn’t pray he/she has committed a capital sin.

A major sin is one that being punished in hell is promised to its committer in the Quran or ahadith. In the Holy Quran, Allah (SWT) has promised to forgive all sins if one truly repents to Him. Read More


Disownment by parents / How to deal with them

Question 280: I know we are to be kind and compassionate to our parents and to see after them in their old age, I moved my parents in with me in 2009, my dad passed in 2010, and my mom remains with me, she has now gotten to a point where she needs more than I can provide is it permissible for me to find a quality nursing home to place her in? What does Islam say about Disownment by parents?

Answer 280: Disownment by parents means to do an act that would make them angry, cause them distress and injure their feelings. Certainly, hurting one of them also causes the child to be disowned.[1] Although parents enjoy special respect in all religions and cultures, Islam has enumerated, over and above to the rights considered by other religions, a wide range of moral rights for the parents. The rights considered by Islam for the parents are so extensive that even hurting them is regarded as a kind of violating their rights. In addition to the moral rights, Islam has considered a number of jurisprudential rights for the parents which a child should uphold and fulfill. For example, if a child’s parents are needy and helpless, it is obligatory on him to take care of them and pay for their maintenance (food, clothing and medical expenses).

There are different interpretations relating to the parents’ rights on the child. For example, God, the Exalted, says:
“And your Lord has commanded that you shall not serve (any) but Him, and goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) “Ugh” [fie] nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word.”[2]

As it is clear from the above verse, in addition to belief in God and not ascribing any partners to Him, God, the Exalted, has commanded us to be kind to our parents and not to cause them distress by even using a word of contempt while talking to them. Although the narrations have counted disownment by the parents as one of the great sins[3], they have not fixed any limits for it in the same way as the Quranic verses. The narrations simply state that causing distress and discomfort to the parents is forbidden.[4]

Hence, therefore if an action causes distress to the parents, it can be considered as a criterion for violating parents’ rights. [5]If a child disagrees with his parents on some matters which cause them distress, he has provided the means for his disownment by his parents. However, sometimes disagreeing with parents or disobeying them is not severe to the extent that may cause them distress, in this case it is better for him to act in accordance with their opinion.

Yes, there are various cases which are not considered to be a part the child’s obligation to obey his/her parents. For example, if a man’s parents order him to do an act which is against the divine command or religious and Islamic law, it is not necessary for him to obey them. This disobedience does not cause the child to be disowned.

Therefore, we can conclude that the criterion with respect to the parents’ rights is to fulfill their demands to the extent that not doing them does not morally cause them distress and discomfort and that their orders should not involve doing a religiously forbidden act or avoiding an obligatory one. Certainly, there are certain acts which are not obligatory but it is better, not wajib, to get the parents’ consent in them. In order for a person to know the Islamic viewpoint about each case, one should refer to his own Marja’ (the religious authority whom he follows) and act according to his fatwa (verdict).

As a result, if it is possible for you to see after her at your house you are supposed to satisfy her as much as you can. Otherwise, if it is better for her to be at the nursing home and you are sure such act wouldn’t make her angry, cause her distress and injure her feelings there would be no problem to do so.

[1] . Muhaddith Qommi, Shaykh Abbas, Nuzhat al-Nawzer fi Tarjomat Ma’den al-Jawaher, pg. 128, Islamic Publications, Tehran, 1st edition.

[2] . Al-Isra, 23.

[3] . Ubaid bin Zurarah says: ‘I asked Imam Sadiq, peace be upon him, about the great sins. Imam Sadiq (a.s.) replied: “In the book of [Imam] ‘Ali, they are seven: disbelieving in Allah; killing a person; causing distress to one’s parents; dabbling in usury; unlawfully confiscating the property of the orphan; running away from the battle-field in jihad; at-ta’arrub ba’d al-hijra.” Then he asked, “So these are the most major of sins?” See: Amili, Muhammad bin Hasan, Wasail al-Shi’ah (translation of Chap. Jihad against the Carnal Soul), translation by Sehat, pg. 198, Nas Publications, Tehran, 1364 (1985).

[4] . Imam Sadiq, peace be upon him, said: “If there was anything less than “fie” to cause distress and discomfort to parents, he would prohibit it and “fie” is the lowest level of hurting parents. One of the instances of causing distress is to gaze at the parents. See: Muhammad bin Ya’qub, Usul-e Kafi (translated by Mustafavi), vol.4, pg. 50, Islamic Book Store, Tehran, 1st edition.

[5] . Some Istiftas (religious enquiries) also refer to the same point. Here are some questions which have been asked from the religious authorities: “What does ‘disownment by parents’ mean? How does disownment take place? What are the effects of disownment?” Answer: “Any act that causes distress and discomfort to the parents amounts to disownment by parents except for the cases where there is an obligatory duty to be done or a haram act to be avoided. If the parents order the child not to do an obligatory act or to do a haram act, it is not necessary for the child to obey them even if it causes distress to them.” See: New Questions and Answers (Ayatollah Makarem Shirazi), vol.3, pg. 559. Another example: If a mother orders her son to divorce his wife, otherwise he would become a disowned child and her milk would be haram to him, what is the son supposed to do?” Answer: “In the Name of God: It is not obligatory on him to obey his mother in such matters.” See: Serat al-Nijat (Ayatollah Tabrizi), vol.6, pg. 257.


The best place for a woman to pray is at home or mosque

Question 015: According to some hadith, it is recommended for a woman to pray in her home as well as there are rewards for participation in congregational prayer. A wife in Islam is suppose to obey her husband except if he is asking something that is contrary to the teachings of Islam.

Do the rewards for congregational prayer only apply for men since there are hadith that say the best place to pray for a woman is at home? Does a husband have the right to tell his wife that she has to stay at home and pray, since a wife has to gain the permission of her husband to leave the home? If the wife is not permitted to leave the home to participate in congregational prayer, does she get the rewards equal to what the men get when they go to the mosque for congregational prayer, since it has been recommended by hadith for her to do so? If a wife is given permission to participate in congregational prayer will her rewards be less than if she were to pray at home?

Answer 015: The man has certain rights over his wife. One of those rights is that she must obey him. The woman has the responsibility toward her husband not to go out of his home without his permission. If both the man and woman understand, trust, love and believe each other, the man should let her go to offer her prayers at a mosque.

There are two different opinions, according to the Holy Qur’an and traditions:

  1. The best place to pray for a woman is at home
  2. Women are allowed to pray at mosque

The Holy Qur’an: “And stay quietly in your houses, and make not a dazzling display, like that of the former Times of Ignorance.” [1]

So, the best place to pray for women is at her house. [2]

“O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when out of doors that is most convenient, that they should be known as such and not molested). And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [3]

So, Islam has ordered women to have hijab in order to be protected.

Ahadith: The Holy Prophet (pbuh) and Imam Sadiq (as) says: a woman who prays at home will get equal reward as praying at a mosque. They also say: if a woman prays at her house she will get more rewards than praying at other places. [4]

According to some scholars, it is recommended for a woman to take part in social activities and offer her prayers at mosque which is one of the best recommended act in Islam.

The Holy Prophet (pbuh), Imam Hasan, Imam Sadiq (pbuth) say: Offer your prayers at mosques. The Holy Prophet (pbuh) and the Imams (pbuth) didn’t say only men are allowed to pray at a mosque, so women can offer their prayers at mosque too.[5]

The believing women offered their prayers with the Holy Prophet (pbuh). [6]

The Holy Prophet (pbuh) recommended that men should not prevent your wives from going to the mosques. [7]

Sayyid Sistani (ha) says: It is recommended for women to attend congregational prayers as evidenced by an authentic tradition from the Commander of the Faithful, Ali (AS) that women used to attend congregational prayers but they were ordered to linger their sajda (prostration) because some men were wearing tight garments but there is another authentic tradition which says that a woman’s prayer at home is more virtuous than her prayer in a mosque. However, the conclusion that can be drawn from both traditions is that a woman’s prayer at a place where she is not seen by non-mahram men (strangers) is more virtuous. If she can perform her prayers in a mosque without being seen by strangers, the prayer in a mosque would be more virtuous in that case. God knows best.[8]

In conclusion, if her husband allow her pray at mosque she will get the rewards, if not and she offers her prayers at home she will receive the same rewards. In sha Allah.

For further information in this regards, please read the following answers:

Index: Philosophy of Hijab during prayer, answer 020.

Index: Men and Women: Covering body in prayers, answer 594.

[1] . Surah Ahzab, verse 33.

[2] . Sayyid Quṭb, In Tafsir Fi Zilal Al-Quran, Vol. 5. Pg. 2859.

[3] . Surah Ahzab, verse 59.

[4] . Wasaiel al-Shia, Vol. 5, Pg. 237, Allamah Majlesi, Bihar al-Anwar, Vol. 80, Pg. 371; Sheikh Saduq, Man la yahduruhu al-Faqih, Vol. 1, Pg. 374, H 1088; Abul Qasim Payandeh, Nahjul Fasahah, Pg. 474, H 1532.

[5] . Kanz al-Ummal, Vol. 7, Pg. 650, Mustadrakul Wasail, Vol. 3, Pg. 554&659, H 785; Nahjul Fasaha, Pg. 596, H 3083; Mustadrakul Wasail, Vol. 7, Pg. 659.

[6] . Sunan Ibn Majeh, Vol.1, Pg. 137, H 565 & 566, Sheikh Ali Namzi Shahroodi, Mustadrak Safinatul Bihar, Vol.1, Pg. 209.

[7] . Sunan Abu Dawood, Vol. 1, Pg. 155, H 565, 566, 567 & 568; Kanz al-Ummal, Vol. 11, Pg. 677, H 20872.

[8] . The official website of the office of Sayyid Sistani (ha), Q&A: Mass Prayer.