Question 082: I am in love with my teacher’s daughter and she also loves me very much. We have met each other a few times and message each other daily. Is there any problem and restrictions in our relation according to the Islamic laws?
Answer 082: Islam has prescribed marriage (temporary and permanent) to address this need, in addition to any sexual need, be it flirting, touching, caressing, and so forth, must only take place after marriage has been contracted. Even if boy and girl who are fiances and are planning on getting married in the future, but haven’t contracted any form of marriage yet, cannot take such pleasures in each other, even if it is only limited to having an intimate conversation or shaking hands.
As was said, in Islam, fulfillment of such needs must be within Islamic limits. Temporary marriage is one solution, but has stipulations and conditions that must be met, one of those being the consent of the virgin girl’s father (the rest of the conditions can be looked up in the risalahs).
According to the Shia point of view, the baligh virgin girl must get her fathers or paternal grandfathers (in the case of not having a father) permission if she wants to get married. In the case of her father or paternal grandfather not being present in a way that she can’t get their permission, and her having the need of getting married, their permission will no longer be a condition, if she can distinguish between what is to her benefit and what isn’t.
The same goes for the woman who isn’t a virgin; she doesn’t need to get permission either, if her virginity was lost to a previous husband. In the case of her virginity being lost by a mistaken intercourse, or even adultery, it is a mustahabb precaution to get permission if possible (which means it is better, although it still isn’t a condition and isn’t wajib).[1]
According to Sayyid Sistani (ha), it is not permissible for a boy and a girl to make friendship with each other in order to know each other before marriage. His Excellency also said: pre-marital relation between a boy and a girl is not permissible under any circumstances. [2]
For further information in this regards, please refer to the following answer:
Index: Permanent or Temporary marriage of a married man without the permission of his wife, answer 565.
The official website of the office of Sayyid Sistani (ha), Question & Answer » Marriage. Ibid, Marriage » General Rules.
[1] . Tawdih al-Masa’il of the maraji’, vol. 2, Pgs. 449-460, 701-707 and 734-736 and 458-459.
[2] . The official website of the office of Sayyid Saistani, Question & Answer » Pre-marital Relation.