Question 048: What is the ruling of one who desires to cry for his sins, but is unable to do so, so he pretends to cry? Is pretending recommended? What procedures does one have to go through in order to be able to shed tears?
Answer 048: When you want to pray, supplicate or fear Allah, the Almighty you had better to cry or pretend[1] to cry. This act is a psychological example of an artificial effect on our soul.
According to a hadith, in order that your prayers be granted by Allah, the Most High you should cry or pretend to cry. Also, try to have at least one drop of tear coming out of your eyes, even by remembering a memory of one of your relatives who has passed away. In this regards, there is a hadith narrated from the holy Prophet (pbuh) that if one cries or pretends to cry while reciting the holy Quran or hearing it, he will certainly go to the Heaven. Furthermore, if you fear Allah (SWT), the punishment of Hell and desire to go to the Heaven you are supposed to cry or pretend to cry especially at the time of offering prayers, ta’qibat, supplications, dhikr, and during the practices of hajj, especially in Sa’y, stay in Arafa, and on top of Marwa Mount.[2]
The Holy Prophet of Islam (SAWS) has told Abū Dhar al-Ghifari, “One should cry if he can. If not, keeps grief inside of his heart and pretend to cry. If the one is unable to do so, he is far away from Allah (SWT), the Almighty.”[3]
In regards to crying over our sins and fear of Allah (SWT), Imam Sadiq (AS) has said, “If you cannot cry, pretend yourself to cry. If you try to shed tear, even it is equivalent to the size of an insect wing, then congratulations to you.[4]
In a Qudsi Hadith, Allah (SWT) says to Musa (as): O Musa, whoever cries or pretends to cry at the time of martyrdom of the Prophet’s (pbuh) son he will go to the Heaven.[5]
According to some hadiths, if one cries for Imam Hussain (as), make others cry for Him or pretends to cry, then he will certainly go to the Heaven.[6]
Ways for drawing Allah’s (SWT) affection and love: The first step in achieving such a matter is to purify the heart of the love of this world and all things attached to it in an effort to reach Allah (SWT). Such can never be accomplished unless one pushes the love of everything other than Allah (SWT) out of the heart; the reason being that man’s heart is like a container that doesn’t have the capacity of accepting anything unless it has been emptied of all other contents. At the same time, Allah (SWT) hasn’t given anyone two hearts (so that one can encompass all worldly desires and the other contains the love of Allah (SWT).[7] The prophet of Islam (SAWS) says,[8] “حب الدنیا و حب الله لا یجتمعان فی قلب واحد” (“The love of this life and world and the love of Allah (SWT) cannot gather in one heart together [at the same time]”). Clearly, if Allah (SWT) is loved by a person, Allah (SWT) will also love him.
Tawbah or repentance is another way of obtaining Allah’s (SWT) love, meaning to be sorry and regretful regarding ones sins and moving towards and taking refuge in Allah’s (SWT) endless grace and mercy, also draws Allah’s (SWT) affection. Repentance makes the servant of Allah (SWT) draw closer to Him, opening the doors of mercy to him. When one repents, he becomes Allah’s (SWT) friend and loved one.
The author of Tafsir Rahnama says, “One of the reasons why the love of Allah (SWT) towards the righteous and those who repent has been pointed to, is to encourage them to repent and be righteous.[9]
Crying for Allah (SWT), the Almighty is now pleasant, as in the Holy Qur’an, He says, “God loves those who repent and those who purify themselves.”[10]
We will explain to you briefly some of the ways to obtain Allahs (SWT) love, so that you will be able to obtain Allah’s (SWT) love and purify your heart:
Patience and steadfastness during hardship, bitter times, tragedies; Following and obeying the prophet (SAWS), jihad and fighting in the way of Allah (SWT); those who donate and give charity; Faith and good deeds; Generosity and kindness; Purity.
Also, when Allah (SWT) becomes affectionate towards someone, He falls in love with him, as a hadith by the prophet (pbuh) says[11], “اذا احب الله عبداً عشقه و عشق علیه، فیقول عبدی انت عاشقی و محبی و انا عاشق لک و محب لک، ان اردت او لم ترد”, meaning that when Allah (SWT) becomes affectionate of someone, He makes that person fall in love with Him, in addition to Allah (SWT) loving him, as well. Then Allah (SWT) goes on to say, “O servant of mine! You are in love with me, and I also love you, whether you like it or not!”
To sum it all up, there are various ways of reaching a point in which Allah (SWT) becomes affectionate towards one, which can all be summarized in doing what Allah (SWT) has obliged and refraining from what he has prohibited.
Therefore, you are supposed to, at first truly repent in the presence of Allah (SWT), the Almighty and do the above mentioned recommendations in order to obtain Allah’s (SWT) love. If you do so, your heart would be purified of the love of such mundane and worldly things and then crying over your sins is now heavenly pleasant in the presence of Allah (SWT), the Almighty. If you might not be able to cry, pretend as you are crying. [12]
Note: It is correct to say that one must fear Allah (SWT), love Him, and have hope in Him all at the same time. For loving Him and having hope in Him will bring about harmony on one hand, and on the other hand, will compel us to take action, struggle, and push forth in our endeavor to acquire the elements that will secure His satisfaction. Ultimately it will lead to being blessed by His effusions, graces, and bounties in this world and the hereafter. His fear will evoke humility and servility; it will strengthen the spirit of obedience and preclude us from committing sins that might otherwise incur Allah’s (SWT) wrath and chastisement.
Imam Ali Ibn Abu Talib (AS) defines these three groups in his legacy of wisdom as follows, “One group worships Allah (SWT) in hope of boons and benevolence – such is the worship of businessmen; another group worships him out of fear – such is the worship of slaves; and yet another group worships Allah out of gratitude – such is the worship of those who are free of themselves and of self-worship.”[13]
[1] . Pretend to cry means Tabaki: Making oneself cry or to crying with efforts is called Tabaki. Tabaki in the mourning for Imam Hussain (as) means that one has a facial expression of sadness and pretend to cry in order to be counted as a Mourner of the Imam (as) and enjoy the relevant divine rewards.
[2] . Ghafari Sarawi, A’een e Bandegi wa Niyayesh, Pg. 289; Majlesi, Miratul Uqul, Vol. 12, Pg. 57; Noori Tabarsi, Mustadrak al-Wasael, 1408 A.H, Vol. 5, Pg. 205; Moadab, I’jaz Quran dar Nazar Ahlul Bayt (as), Pg. 184; Mahmoodi, Tatib al-Amali, 1420 A.H, Pg. 369; Wasael a-Shia, Hurr Ameli, Vol. 6 , chapter Jawaz al-Qunut bi GHayr al-Arabiyyah, Pg. 289; Frhang Fiqh Farsi, Vol. 2, Pg. 326; Sadeqi Ardestani, Hajj as Miqat ta Mi’ad, Pg. 145.
[3] . Bihaul Anwar, Vol. 74, Pg. 79.
[4] . Al-Kafi, Vol. 2, Pg. 484.
[5] . Noori, Hussain bin Muhammad Taqi, Mustardak al-Wasael wa Mustanbit al-Masael, Vol. 10, Pg. 319, Aalul Bayt (as), Qom, first edtion, 1408 A.H; Turayhi, Fakhr al-Din bin Muhammad, Majma al-Bahrayn, researcher and editor: Hussaini Eshkavari, Ahmad, Vol. 3, Pg. 406, Murtadhavi Publication, Tehran, third edition.
[6] . Makarem Shirazi, Ashura Risheha Angizeha Roydadha, Pg. 81.
[7] . Sayyid Abdullah Shubbar, Kitabul-Akhlaq (translation), 414
[8] . Mohammad Rey Shahri, Mizanul-Hikmah, vol. 2, pg. 228.
[9] . Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani, Tafsir Rahnama, vol. 7, pg. 486.
[10] . Surah Bagharam verse 222.
[11] . Fatemeh Tabatabai, Sokhane Eshq, pg., pg. 34.
[12] . For further information in this regards, please refer to Shahrestani, Sayyid Muhammad Hussain, ‘Ashk Rawan bar Amir Karavan’ (translation of Al-Khasaesul hussainiyah), Pg. 80, Darul Hitab (Jazayei) Literature Institution, 2011; Farhang Aashura (the culture of Ashura), Pg. 104.
[13] . Nahj al-Balaghah, short saying #237: قَالَ ( ع): إِنَّ قَوْماً عَبَدُوا اللٌّهَ رَغْبَةً فَتِلْكَ عِبَادَةُ التُّجَّارِ، وَإِنَّ قَوْماً عَبَدُوا اللٌّهَ رَهْبَةً فَتِلْكَ عِبَادَةُ الْعَبِيدِ، وَإِنَّ قَوْماً عَبَدُوا اللٌّهَ شُكْراً فَتِلْكَ عِبَادَةُ الأَحْرَارِ