Question 611: Salam. Is a person allowed to look at the hair of her fiance once before marriage? Need answer from ruling of Ayatollah Khamenei and ayatollah Sistani?
Answer 611: Generally, it is haraam for a man to look at the body or hair of the Non-Mahram women, regardless of whether it is with the intention of pleasure or not, and whether there is a fear of falling into sinful act or not. It is also haraam to look at the faces and the arms, up to the wrists, of such women with the intention of pleasure, or if there is fear of falling into sinful act, and the recommended precaution is that one should not look at their faces or arms even without such an intention. Similarly, it is haraam for a woman to look at the body of Non-Mahram man, except places which are customarily not covered, like, his face, hands, head, neck and feet. She can look at these parts of a man without the intention of deriving any pleasure, or if there is no fear of being entrapped in any sinful act.[1]
But, it is permissible for a man to look at a woman whom he intends to marry provided that: 1- it is not with the intention of pleasure, 2 – it is to find out about her beauty or her defects, 3 – there should not be any barrier or hurdle to the marriage, 4 – he considers it problem that the girl will not reject him[2], in which case he can look at a woman’s face, hands up to the wrists, hair and a part of her body (neck and upper part of the chest).[3]
It should be noted that grand Ayatollah Saafi believes that: as an obligatory precaution, he must suffice to looking at her face and hands up to the wrists.[4]
Sayyid Sistani (ha) says: It is permissible for a man to look at the attractive features of the woman he intends to marry. Similarly, it is permissible to talk to her before proposing. So, it is permissible to look at her face, hair, neck, hands and wrists, and legs and other parts of her body, provided that he does not so without sexuall gratification.[5]
For further information in this regards, please refer to the following answers:
Index: Essential Requirements of a Successful Marriage in Islam, answer 515.
Index: Premarital relation with non-Mahram is impermissible, answer 082.
Index: Chatting on the internet with non-Mahram, answer 350.
Index: Shaking Hands with non-Mahram Man or Woman, answer 603.
[1] . The official website of the office of Sayyid Sistani (ha), rules regarding Marriage » Looking at non-Mahram.
[2] – Khamenei, Sayyid Ali, Ajwebat al-Istiftaat, question 525; Sistani, Sayyid ali, Minhaj al-Salehin, vol.2, Nikah (Marriage), issue No. 28; Bahjat, Muhammad Taqi, Resalah Tawzih al-Masail, issue No.1944; Makarem Shirazi, Naser, Ta’liqat Alaa al-Urwat al-Wuthqa, Nikah (Marriage), issue No, 26; Fazel Lankarani, Muhammad, Ta’liqat Alaa al-Urwat al-Wuthqa, Nikah (Marriage), issue No. 26.
[3] -Makarem Shirazi, Naser, Ta’liqat Alaa al-Urwat al-Wuthqa, Nikah (Marriage), issue No, 26; Ali bin Abi Talib Religious School, Qom; Sistani, Sayyid Ali, Minhaj al-Saalehin, vol.2, Nikah, issue No. 28; Tabrizi, Jawad, Isteftaat, question 1580, p. 355, Sarwar Publications, Sitara Publications, 3rd edition, 1385 (2006); Bahjat, Muhammad Taqi, Resalah, Tawzih al-Masail, issue No. 1944, p. 386, Publications of the Office of the Supreme Leader, Amir Printing Press, 18th edition,Qom, 1378 (1999). Tawzih al-Masail (with annotation by Imam Khomeini) vol.2, p. 485, issue No. 2433; Imam Khomeini, Sayyid Rohullah, Tahrir al-Wasilah, vol.2, Nikah (marriage), issue No. 28, Payam Printing House, fifth edition, 1365 (1986).
[4] – Saafi, Lotfullah, Hidayat al-‘Ibad, vol.2, Nikah (Marriage), issue No. 28; Adopted from IQ.
[5] . The official website of the office of Sayyid Sistani (ha), rules concerning Marriage » General Rules.