Question 515: Please say that it is a hadith is Islam that you should get you daughter married in a house financially stronger and wealthier than you is that true? What are the Essential Requirements for having a Successful Marriage in Islam?
Brief Answer 515: There is a hadith narrated from the Holy Prophet (PBUH) in which He has said: If one gets married to a woman for her property Allah would leave him to her property, if one gets married for her beauty he would see an unpleasant thing inside of his wife and if one gets married to a woman for her religion Allah, the Almighty would collect all of the values (such as property, beauty and etc.) for him.
Some of the important teachings concerning marriage which must be taken into consideration are: ethical and moral adherence of the boy and girl, honesty and truthfulness, genealogical originality and equality of the boy and girl in terms of their cultural, financial, family, scientific and religious status.
Detailed Answer 515: Marriage is one of the beauties of creation and a tradition of all nations and peoples of the world. Islam also attaches great importance to it; it has been looked at from different angles and aspects in a way such that it is considered to be irreplaceable with anything. The conducts and practice of the imams and noble servants of God who have the highest degree of knowledge about Islam well endorse the above. Imam Baqir (a.s.) narrated from the Holy Prophet of Islam as having said: “There has not been created any institution in Islam which is more favored and dearer to Allah than marriage.[1]
The Commander of Faithful, Imam Ali (a.s) said: “Engage in marriage; because this is the tradition of the Prophet of Allah (pbuh).”[2]
The Prophet of Islam and all of the Imams have laid so much emphasis on the institution of marriage that it has been considered to be equal to safeguarding half of one’s religion. The Prophet of Islam, peace be upon him and his family, stated: “Whoever gets married has safeguarded half of his religion.”[3] That is to say, marriage causes a believer’s personality to reach a stage where he safeguards half of his faith. Imam Sadiq (a.s) stated: “Two Rak’ats (units) of a married person’s Salat (prayer) are better than seventy Rak’ats offered by a bachelor.”[4]
All this emphasis implies the extra-ordinary importance attached by Islam to marriage and formation of family. It is a structure in which the first nucleus of a healthy and divine society comes into being. Islam not only attaches importance to marriage itself but also to the way it is formed and continued.[5]
Islam has presented highly valuable guidelines and models for us, and it has explained the characteristics and features of a good spouse and a healthy marriage as shall be enumerated below:
- Having real faith and adherence to Islamic moral codes: Such a person, being in communion with God, is reliable. On the other hand, a young man who is not abiding by such principles is not likely to remain faithful to his commitments. Imam Reza (a.s) said: “If a man seeks your hand for marriage and you are happy with his religiosity and moral characteristics, give consent for marriage with him. Do not reject him because of his poverty.”[6]
- Having good moral characteristics which cause the parties to the marriage to be happy and have a prosperous family life. It is said in the traditions that a bad spouse leads a person into pre-mature old age.
- Honesty and truthfulness: If a man gives promises while seeking a woman’s hand for marriage but he does not remain committed, there would be no trust in their lives.
- Genealogical originality: The Holy Prophet of Islam (pbuh) said: “Keep away from the grass that grows on dirt i.e. a beautiful woman in a bad family. The Holy Quran says: He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them. According to the verse, the women are a source of comfort and good for men.
- Avoiding heavy dowry: The Holy Prophet (pbuh) says: “The best women of my Ummat (nation) are those who are beautiful in face and less in dowry.”[7]
- Cultural, financial, family, scientific and religious equality of man and woman: If a girl is not of equal status to man especially culturally, it will lead to serious problems in the couple’s lives. One should try, as far as he can, to marry someone who is considered to be his/her equal. It is only a faithful Muslim who is the equal of another faithful Muslim. The Holy Prophet said: ““If one with whose religion and character you are pleased comes to you (to seek your daughter’s hand in marriage), then marry (your daughter) to him.”[8]
There is a hadith narrated from the Holy Prophet (PBUH) in which He has said: If one gets married to a woman for her property Allah would leave him to her property, if one gets married for her beauty he would see an unpleasant thing inside of his wife and if one gets married to a woman for her religion Allah, the Almighty would collect all of the values (such as property, beauty and etc.) for him. [9]
Conclusion: There is no authentic hadith saying that you are recommended to marry your daughter to one who is wealthier than you or your daughter, whereas the both man and woman who want to get married to each other are supposed to be equal in cultural, financial, family, scientific and religious affairs as well as considering the other important teachings concerning marriage. On the other hand, we can see the marriage of Imam Ali (as) and Lady Fatimah Zahra (sa), the Holy Prophet (PBUH) and Lady Khadijah (sa) and the other Imams (pbuth) in order to make sure how they got married!
[1] – Ameli, Shaykh Hurr, Wasail al-Shi’ah, vol.20, pg.13, Aalulbayt (a.s.) Publications.
[2] – Ibid, pg.15.
[3] – Ibid, pg.17.
[4] – Wasail al-Shia, vol.20, pg.20. رَكْعَتَانِ يُصَلِّيهِمَا الْمُتَزَوِّجُ أَفْضَلُ مِنْ سَبْعِينَ رَكْعَةً يُصَلِّيهَا غَيْرُ مُتَزَوِّجٍ
[5] – Question 2478 (site:2619), index: Abandoning Marriage
[6] – Rayshahri, Muhammad, Mizanul Hikmah, vo.4, pg.280, Darul Hadith Publication.
[7] – Question 1300 (site: 1283), Index: The Philosophy of Marriage in Islam
[8] – Nahjul Fasahah, pg. 37, hadith No.193.
[9] . Man La Yahdhuruhul Faqih, Vol. 3, Pg. 251; Wasael al-Shia, Vol. 20, Pg. 51, H 25008.