Question 350: Salam, what is the limits when you want to talk or even chat with females? By the way, my jurisprudence is Sayed Sistani?
Answer 350: According to Ayatollah Sistani (ha), all kinds of relations with a non-Mahram including joking, expressing mutual love, talking with the intention of deriving pleasure, looking at the body of a girl (except her face and hands up to the wrists) and at her hair or looking at her face with pleasure are haram (forbidden). In fact, if it is feared that they might fall into a sin, it is forbidden for them to have any kinds of relationship with each other. His Excellency also replied a question similar to talking to ones fiancé on telephone as follows: If it is feared that you might fall into a sin, it is not permissible. Since she is not related to you through nikah as of now, you cannot express love or start joking and becoming intimate with her.
The Ayatollah says: If there is a fear that a girl or a boy may be drawn towards sin, it is not permissible to chat with girls on the internet. Normally chatting ends up in a sin for both sides. [1]
According to holy Islamic Laws, any form of interaction between a non-Mahram man and woman, whether it is direct or indirect, is impermissible if it accompanied with lust, or there is fear of sin taking place. Otherwise, if there is no such a fear that you might fall into a sin, there would be no problem.
A glance at the fatwas of the maraje’ on questions about this issue clears everything up:
Question 1: When a non-mahram man and woman are speaking with each other, is there a difference between the dialogue being from far away or in person?
Answer (all of the maraje’): There is no difference in ruling and in both cases, if there is lust involved or fear of sin taking place, it is impermissible.[2]
Question 2: What is the ruling on chatting with the opposite sex and speaking of normal things?
All of the maraje’: If there is fear of corruption and sin taking place, it is impermissible.[3]
Question 3: Is it permissible for non-mahram men and women to greet each other?
All of the maraje’: If it is without lust and there is no fear of sin taking place, it is permissible.[4]
Question 4: What is the ruling on kidding with non-mahrams?
All of the maraje’: If it is with lust or there is fear of sin taking place, it is impermissible.[5]
Question 5: Is having a warm relationship between a boy and girl while working or in gatherings problematic?
All of the maraje’: Friendship between boys and girls is impermissible, because there is a fear of sin taking place. As for their relationship at work, if it doesn’t lead to corruption and Islamic standards are observed, it is permissible.[6]
Question 6: What is the ruling on writing to non-mahrams and speaking of sensual things via email with them?
All of the maraje’: Speaking of things that lead to corruption and pave the way to corruption are problematic.[7]
[1] . The official website of the office of Sayyid Sistani (ha), Question & Answer» Chat between Male & Female; Ibid, Male and Female Relations.
[2] Imam Khomeini, Istifta’at, vol. 3, question 52; Bahjat, Tawdih al-Masa’el, issue 1936; Makarem Shirazi, Istifta’at, vol. 1, question 819; Tabrizi, Istifta’at, issue 1622; Safi, Jame’ul-Ahkam, vol. 2, pg. 1673; Nouri, Istifta’at, vol. 2, pg. 656; Fazel, Jame’ul-Masa’el, vol. 1, question 1718; Khamenei, Ajwibah al-Istifta’at, question 1145; Al-Urwah al-Wuthqa, vol. 2, al-nikah, issue 3; Sistani, sistani.org (official website), questions 19 and 20; Wahid, office.
[3] Sistani, sistani.org (official website); Tabrizi, tabrizi.org (official website); the office of all of the maraje.
[4] Al-Urwah al-Wuthqa, vol. 2, al-nikah, issue 39 and 41.
[5] Ibid, issues 39 and 41; Fazel, Jame’ul-Masa’el, vol. 1, question 1720 and Khamenei, istifta’, question 782.
[6] Khamenei, istifta’, questions 651 and 779 and the offices of all the maraje’.
[7] Imam Khomeini, Istifta’at, vol. 3, miscellaneous questions, question 127; the offices of all the maraje’.