Question 650: Assalam o alaikum. Is wife allowed to check husband’s mobile phone without his permission? is it true and wife Wife cannot check her husband’s mobile? I want to know the rules regarding Cell Phone Privacy In Marriage. Thanks.
Answer 650: According to some verses of the holy Quran, traditions narrated from our Infallibles (pbuth) and Fatwas of grand maraja’, a wife or husband is not allowed to check each others phone without taking permission from its owner as cell phone is pravacy, unless there is fear of an important sin taking place. Instead, they are recommended to regard their partner’s affair in the most favorable way until they hear of something that overcomes their good opinion of one another.
In the Holy Quran Allah (SWT) says: “O you who believe! avoid most of suspicion, for surely suspicion in some cases is a sin And do not spy …”.[1]
Arabic version:
يا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اجْتَنِبُوا كَثِيراً مِنَ الظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعْضَ الظَّنِّ إِثْمٌ وَ لا تَجَسَّسُوا
Having favorable attitude
Suspicion is a bad feeling we the Muslims are recommended to avoid according to the above mentioned verse of the holy Quran, however having favorable attitude of someone is so good according to the following verse of the holy Quran. “Why did not the believing men and the believing women, when you heard it, think well of their own people, and say: This is an evident falsehood?”. [2]
Arabic version:
لَوْ لا إِذْ سَمِعْتُمُوهُ ظَنَّ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ وَ الْمُؤْمِناتُ بِأَنْفُسِهِمْ خَيْراً
That is to say that suspicion is a sensual perception that comes in our heart involuntarily and we the human beings are unable to prevent. Thus, the meaning of avoiding bad suspicion, according to the verse of the holy Quran, is when you have such feeling toward someone you are recommended not to accept it and act based on it. Although suspicion in itself is not bad nor good, but accepting it and act based on it is prohibited.
The difference between Tajassus and Tahassus
In other part of this verse of the holy Quran Allah the Almighty prohibits us to spy. He (SWT) says: Wa La Tajassasu (with the word J in Arabic language). Meaning that investigating or looking for other people matters that they want them to be secret. When it comes to Tahassus, although it has the same meaning as Tajassus, but Tajassus applies to bad matters and Tahassus applies to good matters. Therefore, according to some interpreters, the meaning of this verse of the holy Quran is that we shouldn’t look for the defects of Muslims and reveal those of matters they want them to be secret.[3]
Avoiding cause of suspicion
The followings are some ahadith narrated from the Infallibles (pbuth) in which we the Mulisms have been recommended to avoid causes of suspicion.
Exposing Yourself To Suspicion: Imam Ali (as) says: One who exposes himself to suspicion should not blame others for having a bad opinion of him.[4] Therefore, a wife or husband sholdn’t be constantly on his/her cell phone in order to avoid exposing to suspicion.
Arabic version:
مَن وَضَعَ نَفسَهُ مواضع التّهمه فلا یلومنَّ مَن اَساءَ الظّنّ به
Mental Insecurity: Imam Ali (as) says: The one who does not think well of people feels alienated from everybody.[5]
Arabic version:
من لم یحسن ظنّه استوحش من کلّ احد
Considering Good People As Traitor: Imam Ali (as) says: The one who is suspicious considers a person who is not betrayer as traitor.[6] So, if a husband or wife is suspicious he/she would consider his/her partner as traitor. And this way causes distrusting each other which ruin their good relationships.
Arabic version:
من ساءت ظنونه اعتقد الخیانه بمن لا یخونه
Mutual Distrust: Imam Ali (as) says: The worst people are those who dont trust others due to their suspicion and that’s why the others do not trust them too.
Ways to avoid suspicion
In addtion to referring to the verses of the holy Quran and traditions, we should act based on the recommendations narrated from our Infallibles (pbuth) as follows;
Regarding a Mumin’s affair in favorable way: We the Muslims should avoid suspicion as in the holy Quran Allah (SWT) says: “O you who believe! avoid most of suspicion, for surely suspicion in some cases is a sin And do not spy …”.[7]
Arabic version:
لَوْ لا إِذْ سَمِعْتُمُوهُ ظَنَّ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ وَ الْمُؤْمِناتُ بِأَنْفُسِهِمْ خَيْراً
Also, Imam Ali (as) says: Regard your brother’s affair in the most favorable way until you hear of something that overcomes your good opinion of him. Never think evil of any word uttered by your brother when you can take it as good.”[8]
Avoid Rushing: When you have suspicion do not take it as a certain act nor judge too quickly.[9] Meaning that a wife and husband are recommended not to have suscicion not to judge too quickly when they heard or see something about each other.
Fatwas of grand maraja’ in this regards are as follows:
Ayatollah Shobeiri Zanjani: Arrogating others property and spying are prohibited, unless there is fear of an important sin taking place.
Ayatollah Sistani: You are not allowed to do that.
Ayatollah Saafi Golpayegani: Since it is regarded as arrogating others property you are not permitted to do that without the owners permission.[10]
For further information on this issue, please read the following answers:
Index: Taking money from husbands purse without permission, answer 650.
Index: Rights and Duties of Women in Islam: Reasons why men chat with non-Mahram, answer 641.
Index: Chatting on the internet with non-Mahram, answer 350.
Index: Permanent or Temporary marriage of a married man without the permission of his wife, answer 565.
Index: Premarital relation with non-Mahram is impermissible, answer 082.
[1] . Surah Hujurat, verse 12.
[2] . Surah Noor, verse 12.
[3] . Tafsir al-Mizan (Farsi translation), Vol. 18, Pg. 483-484.
[4] . Nahjul Balaghah, Hikmat no. 159.
[5] . Ghurar al-Hikam wa Durar al-Kalim, Pg. 254.
[6] . Ibid, Pg. 264.
[7] . Surah Hujurat, verse 12.
[8] . Biharul Anwar, Vol. 72, Pg. 198.
[9] .
[10] . Istiftaa of the offices of grand Maraja’ Ayatollah Shobeiri Zanjani, Sistani and Saafi Golpayegani.